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    Monday, April 18, 2022

    Reviewing The Elite (4/13/22): And The Crowd Goes "Meh"

    I feel like I haven't ranted in a while. Here goes nothing. 

    Leave it to good ol' TK to book a dream match and instantly ruin it with a shitty debut. Was he expecting to pull off a modern-day version of the Kane debut? Because man, this ain't it by a mile. Satnam Singh didn't even do aynthing spectacular. He's just freaking tall! Like, what exactly should we do with that information? At least Kane ripped a cage door wide open and proceeded to decimate The Undertaker convincingly. Also, Kane looked hella menacing. This dude moving in slow mo and commentary throwing references about him being a basketball player certainly didn't help his cause. 

    Now I'm not saying TK shouldn't debut new faces in AEW. But just like in every aspect of life, there's a time and a place. Imagine if after the legendary Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels match, The Great Khali made his debut by beating up the winner. Dumb, right? That's why they had Khali debut a year prior and on a SmackDown after Mania, where debuts are to be expected. That's how you schedule a fucking debut. And while I certainly didn't find it amusing that the Undertaker did job to Khali for a while, at least they did a good job establishing Khali's threat level despite not being agile enough to wrestle.

    Now compare that to this week's buzzkill of a debut. First off, they had the audacity to give Satnam Singh a lights out entrance. What?! Isn't the lights out entrance mostly reserved for big names or supernatural-related gimmicks? So are they saying this dude has superpowers we don't know about? AEW really wanted to make him look like a big deal and it backfired big time. Is TK unaware that AEW's reputation among the IWC is what if an indie promotion had money? Why is he expecting a slow-moving tall guy to succeed in a promotion built on the backs of short, fast-paced indie darlings? 

    And it's not like TK knows the formula on how to make stars out of complete unknowns. Jade Cargill may be the exception, but remember The Butcher and The Blade? They attacked Cody Rhodes in a shocking debut that rocked the wrestling world to its cored and changed the landscape of AEW forever. /s Can you even imagine Satnam winning a major title in AEW when you have guys that are way more charismatic and talented waiting in the wings? If he's just going to be the muscle for this Jay Lethal faction, why did they go through the trouble of ruining a perfectly good dream match?

    That's probably why they had to cut the main event short. One minute they were chopping the skin off of each other and in the next, Samoa Joe was already hoisting Minoru Suzuki up for a Muscle Buster. I'm pretty sure they had more things planned if they didn't have to reserve three minutes for that awful debut. Way to go, TK. You ruined a dream match and you failed to put the guy who ruined it over. Imagine if they waited another week to introduce Satnam Singh and they didn't ruin a main event to do so. Maybe, just maybe, it would make it easier for the fans to swallow this giant pill whole. 

    Show Grade: B

    Dynamite Debris That Also Had Their Shirts Disappear When Wardlow Beat Them Up

    • As much as I'm giving TK flak for ruining his own main events, he's killing it lately with the opening matches. He's starting to get the hang of it, people! Good job featuring CM Punk at the start of the show to properly hype everyone up and have him beat formidable foes to boot. Keep the good opening matches coming, TK!

    • Since when did MJF become this inefficient as a heel? So after failing to stop Wardlow from appearing on Dynamite, now he's booking him in a match against a jobber? What happened to you, MJF? Smh. Capt. Shawn Dean's way cooler than you now. And funnier, too. 

    • Team Taz vs. Team LimitSwerve was fun and all, but I'm not sure if we needed to see this match this early on in the rivalry. So what's going to happen the next time they meet? Stipulation match? Keith Lee vs. Ricky Starks and Isaiah "Swerve" Scott vs. Powerhouse Hobbs? I feel like they should've waited a week or two to book this match because it deserves a main event or opening spot. Also, why did Taz come out late when he could've just stayed at ringside? That part was just weird, that's all. 

    • Jurassic Express and FTR teasing us with a winner-take-all match somewhere down the line? Sign me up! Now that Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus are done with reDRagon, I can't wait to see them try and capture all the gold from FTR. Honestly, once TK books this match, I wouldn't care who wins it all. I just know we're getting one hell of a match. Also, I love how FTR just slapped away reDRagon like the pests that they are. Normalize babyfaces dismissing heels!

    • Hook will finally make his Dynamite debut next week and I'm pumped to see it. Finally, he's done dealing with QT Marshall. I didn't get why he had to stay longer dealing with AEW's own job squad. We will probably get Hook vs. Tony Nese or Hook vs. Danhausen, either one is perfectly fine with me.
    • Welp, that Marina Shafir debut was something. Despite her dominating performance, it just didn't click for me for some reason. Maybe it's her expressionless face or her lack of natural charisma. Maybe it's her way of taunting her opponents: blowing random kisses. Yeah, that would show them. I don't know, I'll just wait if she can stand her ground against Jade Cargill. 

    *****

    Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's seasoned veteran and resident Dynamite reviewer. He's a sucker for well-written promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. His potential haunts him.

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    Item Reviewed: Reviewing The Elite (4/13/22): And The Crowd Goes "Meh" Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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