Okay, fine. I won't quit my reviewing duties just yet. But man, if only I didn't have to waste two hours just to enjoy around 20 minutes of it.
Brock Lesnar is back on SmackDown! You know what that means: character work, great writing, and satisfying payoffs exist again. Don't you just love this new babyface Brock Lesnar? He's still the Beast Incarnate we all know and love, only this time, he's actually allowed to be freaking hilarious. Sure, it's no Beatbox Brock or Mariachi Brock, but seeing him flabbergast the usually conniving Sami Zayn by just being his beastly self was equally satisfying and funny. If he can be with us every week, it would definitely make the chore of watching SmackDown weekly a lot more bearable.
Speaking of Sami Zayn, he's also the MVP of this week's episode. From the moment he interrupted Brock Lesnar's opening promo to the moment he tapped out to Roman Reigns in a blink of an eye, he made this mini-storyline work. I love how everything that happened to him this week was all because he couldn't keep his mouth shut, so no one could ever claim he's being buried. If he only kept his mouth shut and not interrupt Brock, he would've kept his title shot for Day 1. If he didn't piss off Brock before the main event, he would've been healthy enough to last longer than a minute in the ring.
What resulted from Sami's hard work was probably one of the most satisfying SmackDown matches in a long time. And please, don't see this loss as a burial. While Sami didn't get enough ring time, he pretty much got the most air time out of everyone in the roster because of his amazing promo skills. He was instrumental in bringing Brock Lesnar back into the fold and he made Roman Reigns look like a million bucks—all while feeding into his gimmick even more. Trust me, we won't hear the end of this embarrassing loss for months. As far as I'm concerned, Sami Zayn did an amazing job this week.
Now I finally understand why he had to win last week's battle royale. It just wouldn't fit if Jeff Hardy was the one in this position. Although it would be interesting to see him go face-to-face with Brock Lesnar in 2021. After all, Hardy welcomed Brock in a WWE ring back in 2002. Imagine the segment they'll have when they meet again as rivals 19 years later. Also, Paul Heyman was at it again with the cryptic death stares behind the Bloodline's backs. Now that the Beast is back, I'm pretty sure it will all go down in Day 1 as we return to status quo: the reunion of the Beast and the Advocate.
Now that the good stuff's out of the way, I'm not really sure what else to talk about. Should we talk about how stupid it is for Adam Pearce to not attend the show when he could've just brought his muscle Von Wagner with him? Or did SmackDown forget about him, too? It's also interesting how they started drawing the line between upper management and middle management. And now they are slowly setting up Adam Pearce vs. Drew McIntyre? Great. An incompetent and bumbling authority figure vs. a dude carrying a sword. I wonder if they can re-capture the McMahon-Stone Cold magic?
And just when we thought Charlotte Flair vs. Toni Storm is going somewhere after the former's kickass promo, they scaled it right back by involving yet another plate of comedy pie. Man, someone back there must really want to bring back the bra-and-panties era of the women's division, huh? What's next, Charlotte and Toni in a pig pen match to see who can embarrass the other the most? Charlotte Flair and Toni Storm deserve so much more than this juvenile storyline. They could be beating each other senseless right about now. Instead, they're throwing pies. Good grief.
I think the saddest thing is the fact that we had two PPV-worthy matchups this week and both didn't get the fanfare they deserved. Imagine only giving Sheamus and Cesaro three minutes. These two destroyed each other back in 2016. Fast forward to 2021 and here they are in a meaningless, heatless match. Ridge Holland didn't even bother joining his idol at ringside, but at least he's watching a TV screen like a human being. And in an alternate reality, Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler probably spent 20 minutes in an absolute barn burner of a match and Shayna didn't fall victim to a pathetic rollup.
FINAL BREAKDOWN: Brock Lesnar and Sami Zayn worked really hard to make this episode a must-watch, while the rest of the show felt pedestrian in comparison. Other than the main event, not one match this week made me want to anticipate watching the next episode. I really hope Brock Lesnar keeps showing up for the Day 1 build because Creative is at least forced to work extra hard.
Show Grade: C+
Header image taken from WWE.com
*****
Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's seasoned veteran and resident SmackDown reviewer. He's a sucker for well-written promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. His potential haunts him.
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