I have finally reached the point where I roll my eyes as far back as I can when I see Jey Uso is headlining an episode. My eyes rolled back even further when he was facing Daniel Bryan once again because of course he was going to lose. Giving Jey the "Main Event" moniker feels more like a cruel joke. I'm Ricky Publico and this is the SmackDown BreakDown.
I could talk about SmackDown's main event, but aside from the killer opening promo, they didn't really do anything new to advance the storyline. If anything, it didn't have enough Roman Reigns to balance out Edge's presence. And why did they book a Street Fight and not have the participants wear street clothes? There are traditions that are worth keeping, you know. But since I've been giving them all the love these past few weeks, let's focus on other storylines that are equally entertaining and frustrating.
How about Sami Zayn in a bedazzled suit? It's weird not to see him in his usual trashbag getup that seeing him sparkling is even weirder, and dare I say, creepier. But him still exuding a frenetic energy despite looking more presentable is why I loved his documentary trailer premiere this past week. It's incredible how he can outcrazy one of the cringiest internet personalities today. If you're not aware of Logan Paul's past, you'd think he's just a chill dude who simply got dragged into Sami's crazy web of conspiracies. Poor celebrity!
And what better way to end a stellar segment than Sami Zayn getting his ass handed to him by Kevin Owens? There's really no other alternative. Out of all the rushed storylines coming into 'Mania, KO and Sami are the only ones making the most out of the short time they've been given. If there's one teeny-tiny complaint, it's that KO just shoved Logan Paul. I guess they're reserving it for WrestleMania but c'mon, the dude's a boxer. He can take a Stunner or two. But at this point, #SteenericoMania is locked and loaded.
SmackDown's tag team division is moving mad as well. Sure, they only have four teams on the roster, but at least all teams had equal airtime to shine for the past few weeks. And while it's kind of weird how Sonya Deville would book a Fatal 4-Way championship match next week when it's implied that she's been giving Dolph Ziggler and Bobby Roode preferential treatment, who cares when we're getting four great tag teams in one banger of a match? This better be the main event for next week's 'Mania pre-show or else.
This week gave us a preview and I loved how they made it digestible by shortening its length. They also nailed the ending with Alpha Academy going over. Heel Otis is scary af! I'd be surprised if they didn't win next week. But if you ask me who I want to win, it has to be the Mysterios. They could really do Rey Mysterio a solid by letting him win a title with his son before retirement. It's a shame it might not happen in front of a live crowd, but if this is the only tag title match slated for the week before WrestleMania, I'll happily take it.
For weeks now, I have really wanted to love what they're trying to do with the women's tag team division. It's good that we have more than three tag teams, that the champions are competing every week, and that they're trying to give other less-established teams a push. But for some reason, Creative can't get the execution right and if they don't get their shit together, they'll end up undoing all their efforts. Don't know what I'm talking about? Just check out this week's women's tag segment. It was horrendous.
If you're somehow looking for the worst Shayna
Baszler match, you'll find it in this week's episode. For some reason,
they're really hell-bent on lowering Shayna's stock in the quickest way
possible. C'mon, people, she didn't have to lose that match on a stupid
rollup. And they also did this on this week's RAW! What's up with that? Shayna Baszler really went from the most dominant female wrestler to the goon who always gets pinned when her opponent shifts her weight on her. I don't need to tell you why that's wrong.
I appreciate how they don't want to drag a match when the end goal is to have all the teams brawl it out. But instead of an embarrassing schoolboy loss, why not just have the teams interfere and get their finishers in? This way, Natalya and Shayna Baszler can have a decent showing and the teams can interfere to make a proper statement just days away from WrestleMania. And the ensuing brawl would probably be better if it wasn't that rushed. The closing minutes of that segment were hard to watch.
FINAL BREAKDOWN: While not as bad as RAW, this week's episode of SmackDown wasn't that good either. They could've treated this show like a proper go-home show since next week is already reserved for the WrestleMania pre-show. Aside from the major ones, most storylines didn't get a satisfying send-off, especially the Big E vs. Apollo Crews rivalry that got sidelined for some reason. I really hope they find time next week to give all the neglected storylines more than just backstage promos. Fingers crossed.
Show Grade: C
BreakDown Thoughts That Are Feeling the Swing in the Air
- I'm not sure if Bianca Belair refusing to engage Sasha Banks in a fight is smart or dumb. On one hand, you could say she's being smart by not endangering herself a mere days before the big fight. But if that's the case, why fight Carmella? On the other hand, it's dumb how they're sending everyone home with a lame point-to-the-sign final image with absolutely no violence involved. So yeah, the jury's still out on this one.
- The concept of a Nigerian Drum Fight sounds awesome! Too bad it got relegated to a by-the-way backstage promo. I would've easily swapped the Rollins/Cesaro promo for this one just to see how Apollo Crews would lay out the challenge face-to-face and how Big E would react. Man, this could've been a fire promo, too! Where is Big E, anyway? Please tell me he's healthy.
- Carmella and Billie Kay? Not a bad idea at all. They could tell a story about how a female assistant could advance her career better than the male assistants she's had in the past. Or maybe it's just a random-ass interaction and it literally meant nothing. Why would they give Billie Kay something to work with anyway? Don't they hate funny people?
Header image taken from WWE.com
*****
Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's seasoned veteran and resident main roster reviewer. He's a sucker for well-written promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. His potential haunts him.
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