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    Wednesday, April 21, 2021

    The RAW RhetoRick (4/19/21): Deja Bleh

    This is literally the easiest review I'll ever write. They literally copied last week's episode and pasted it this week with some changes that didn't improve the show one bit. The least time I spend writing this one, the better. I'm Ricky Publico, and this is the RAW RhetoRick.

    I love how RAW has the most airtime out of all weekly shows and they still can't figure out how to deliver a great show consistently. They had the audacity to fire someone of Samoa Joe's caliber and yet they let trashbag rednecks like Jaxson Ryker trash up the place. I'm not sure why I'm talking about this now, but it just feels right to air some grievances on a RAW review. In the interest of time, can I just talk about the things I didn't already see last week? Trust me, the difference is barely distinguishable.


    If there's one thing you need to check out from this week's RAW, it has to be unhinged Charlotte Flair. And hey, you don't have to shovel through three hours of junk to get to it. Just skip to the main event and experience Charlotte in all her vicious glory. I didn't really care about the match, especially since they copied the finish from a previous match. God, isn't it annoying how lazy RAW is? What, are they going to blame Vince McMahon on this one, too? Okay, I'm calm now. Forget about the match, okay?

    Charlotte Flair going berserk is the only thing that made my eyebrows raise after over two hours of garbage. I guess last week's awesome "you people" promo wasn't enough of a return to form for the Queen. The fact that referee Eddie Orengo was the receiver of Charlotte's wrath made this segment noteworthy to the very least. They could've easily had the ladies brawl at the end but someone backstage said, "No, let's be creative for once in our lives." They'll probably fire that guy next week.


    Oh look, Drew McIntyre and Braun Strowman took on T-Bar and Mace, exactly what I ordered. I'm pretty sure Braun was advertised to face Orton and while that wasn't a mouth-watering matchup, what we got this week wasn't an improvement, either. A back-to-back match with both ending in DQs? Wow, so creative. And they're fighting these Retribution rejects? Wow, this match just screams star power! Although I admit, Drew unmasking Mace then proceeds to whip him with his mask is pretty cool.

    And speaking of unmasking, T-Bar and Mace were finally forced to remove their stupid masks while the commentary team pretended they've never seen their faces before. The three months ago version of me would've been pumped to see Dominik Dijakovic finally debut on the main roster, too bad the today ago version of me is the one stuck writing this review. The hope is that they remain unmasked and let them be themselves, but I'm sure they'll just continue being MVP's henchmen in the following weeks.


    Randy Orton vs. Riddle. Now that's something I didn't see last week. I see Riddle's new gimmick is to annoy heels into having a match with him. At least he didn't forget his lines this time. Screwing up in the presence of Orton is never a good idea. I also loved how Orton just slithered away from the conversation and went to management to ask for the match instead of just dropping Riddle right there. I guess he considered teaming with him to form RK-Bro, the best tag team ever, even for a bit.

    While the finish was terrible, I did enjoy how they tried to tell a good story inside the ring. That sequence of Riddle trying to put Orton to sleep with a sleeper hold for four consecutive times was a nice touch. But a crucifix pin? For a striker-technician like Riddle, that's just a lame way to end a match. They didn't need to protect Orton that bad. He can eat a pin or two, especially if it will help launch an upstart. But fine, I guess we'll find out next week what the result of this 50-50 booking will be.

    CLOSING RHETORICK: Do I even need a closing statement for this week's episode? It's literally the same one from last week with a few teeny-tiny changes. It even started with last week's main event segment almost beat for beat. And even those changes didn't improve the quality of the show for even one bit. So here's your closing statement: RAW is still garbage. Pass it on. 

    Show Grade: IDGAF

    RhetoRickal Statements That Also Want to Fight the Kid with No Shoes

    • Hey, Sheamus bothered to show up this week! How nice of him. I feel like this was slated for last week but for some reason, they failed to find a spot from their vast amount of airtime. Anyway, Sheamus looks good as a vicious champion and here's to more beatings.
    • Now that we have a female version of the Fiend, I can't wait for the male and female tag team versions of this once-great-but-now-awful gimmick. I really don't want to waste my time dissecting this new twist to the "Alexa Bliss was evil all along" storyline. If @MithGifs can't weave a Twitter thread out of it, then no one can. 
    • Here's a pet peeve: wrestlers saying "let me stop you right there" after the interviewer already stopped talking. Can someone tell the monkey writers backstage how human conversations work? Thank you.
    • It's so nice of them to tweak New Day vs. Elias & Ryker into a singles match and have Elias pick the win instead. Still the same match and the same boring result though.

    Header image taken from WWE.com

    *****

    Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's seasoned veteran and resident main roster reviewer. He's a sucker for well-written promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. His potential haunts him.

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    Item Reviewed: The RAW RhetoRick (4/19/21): Deja Bleh Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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