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    Friday, April 16, 2021

    #FinisherFriday (4/16/21): You Don't Want Joe Putting You Night-Night

    Welcome to another edition of #FinisherFriday! This is Wreddit_Regal bringing you a short highlight of the Samoan Submission Machine.

    This year, WWE decided to make another batch of releases, much like last year's Black Wednesday. Billie Kay and Peyton Royce, Mickie James, Chelsea Green, Tucker, Bo Dallas, Wesley Blake, and Kalisto (what? I just made a parody of his promo on Wednesday) were some of the casualties, but the biggest injustice for me was when the corporation added Samoa Joe to the list.

    The name Samoa Joe was almost a household name in ROH, TNA, and the independent circuit, and as such, it was only a matter of time before his name would reach the WWE's scouting ears. He signed with NXT in 2015 and reached the top of the mountain in the span of two years, becoming the first two-time NXT Champion in the process. He would then move up the main roster, becoming a two-time US Champion before in-ring injuries would sideline and confine him to being a color commentator (and an excellent one for that matter). For a man of his caliber, it is a crime that Joe never got a run with either the WWE or Universal Championship, and WWE probably had the evil corporate "a lame dog is more of a liability than an asset" mindset when they gave him the boot, which infuriates me even more.

    Before that infamous injury during his match with Sting, Joe was one of the most fluid and crisp of wrestlers to ever grace the modern-era ring. The way he easily jumped, kicked and twisted for a man of his size would make current WWE hosses cry (except for Keith Lee), and hosses in other promotions proud (hello, Jeff Cobb and Willie Mack). Even now, he has retained some of that finesse in his current arsenal:

    Before I forget, here's that injury I was talking about earlier. Just watching this makes me wanna lie down and have a massage:

    His finisher is your standard rear naked choke, which he calls the Coquina Clutch:

    Is the move done in textbook form? Bloody yes.

    Does it need some sort of improvement? Also a bloody yes.

    Fellow Wredditor u/RazorRamones has noted that in some instances, Joe has wrapped both of his ankles around the opponent's body:

    But this is actually a fatal flaw in his offense. To quote u/RazorRamones:

    "You should NEVER cross your ankles once you have taken control of your opponents back. In this position, Joe has set himself up to be tapped out to an EXTREMELY painful ankle lock."

    And provided an example bout to prove his point:

    Well to be fair, with his short legs I don't think he can do a body triangle, but that is a great point to consider in his future bouts, so as not to get countered.

    Using my Regal Rating, I would give this move a:

    10/10 for aesthetics. The move is pretty simple and straightforward in a business where flash gets the cash: get behind your opponent and wrap your arms around their head, fall onto the mat and apply pressure until your opponent passes out.

    10/10 for damage. Once locked properly and securely, the opponent pretty much cannot do anything to release themselves from the hold. That's why in most matches, the opponent would frantically try to reach the ropes with their legs. Also, compared with a wind choke (strangle), a blood choke like this would cut off blood supply to the head, shutting down the brain within seconds.

    And that's it chaps, my short analysis of the Coquina Clutch! Where do you think Samoa Joe is headed after his no-compete clause? Let us know in the comment section below!


    Wreddit_Regal is the resident sports kinesiologist of Reddit's wrestling forum, r/squaredcircle. From the most basic of punches to the most intricate double-team maneuvers, he can explain them within the realm of human anatomy and physics, because when doing absolutely nothing wrestling-related, he also happens to work as an operating room nurse.

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    Item Reviewed: #FinisherFriday (4/16/21): You Don't Want Joe Putting You Night-Night Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Wreddit_Regal
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