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    Sunday, December 13, 2020

    The SmackDown BreakDown (12/11/20): It is I, The Head of the Table

    Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens on WWE SmackDown Live

    You bet your sweet ass we're talking about Roman Reigns in this SmackDown review, mainly because I fear Roman Reigns and fear is a great motivator, after all. I'm Ricky Publico and this is the SmackDown BreakDown. See, I finally got the hang of it. 

    I know the Reign of Reigns wasn't the main focus of this week's episode, but it's still the best thing going so of course I'll rave about it even more. How can I not when they gave Kevin Owens a microphone and some air time? And what better way to cap off that segment than with a Pop-Up Powerbomb through the table! That definitely made this segment a thousand times better. Enough with the Stunner already! That move will never suit anyone not named Steve Austin ever again. 

    But it's still the Roman Reigns show and we're all just lucky enough to watch it. Since Jey Uso proved to be ineffective once again, the Tribal Chief had to do the job himself and he did a swell job doing it. File the visual of him berating Kevin Owens's family while the hapless contender struggles to stand up under the "Why Roman Reigns is the best heel of the modern-day era" column because SmackDown knocked it out of the park again. This is exactly how you do a family angle. 

    Every aspiring cerebral heel, please take note. See, Roman Reigns isn't trying to steal Kevin Owens' family like Samoa Joe tried to do with AJ Styles that one time. Reigns still delivered a very personal attack without sounding creepy—that's a win in my book. It also makes perfect sense because Reigns is also a family man himself. He's already leading his Samoan clan, he doesn't need a French-Canadian family hogging the seats at his table. Heel Reigns really is the gift that keeps on giving. 

    But enough about Roman, let's check out the other goodies this week like Sami Zayn scoring yet another cowardly victory against Big E. There's really no way but up at this point for the former muscle of New Day. He has a kickass new theme, his chalk entrance is awesome, and his in-ring work is just terrific. This isn't your grandma's Big E back in 2012 when he was busy hitting AJ Lee in the chest unintentionally. And he found a great first target at Sami Zayn and his Intercontinental Championship.

    I usually don't care about chicken shit heels, mainly because it's the default heel class in wrestling and there's just so many of them. But Sami Zayn does it so well that I can't help but commend him for his tremendous efforts. He contradicts himself almost every time he rants and his antics are so textbook, it's effective. Sami Zayn is so irritating and yet you still love to see it. His new t-shirt also looks great and I want to buy it someday because of its authentic design. After all, aren't we all Sami Zayn in 2020?

    And as for Big E, he still won big time despite losing via count-out, but he had to wait until Talking Smack to receive the glorious affirmation from Paul Heyman himself. This is why the after-show is part of my weekly rotation because of gems like this. Big E basically gave us a fraction of his electric charisma and Heyman followed it up with a backhanded compliment but in a good way, if that makes sense. Because only Paul Heyman can give you the highest of praise but still turn it back around to give his current client even higher praise. Amazing, simply amazing. Look, just watch. 

    If there's one area to nitpick, it's still the Sasha Banks vs. Carmella rivalry. It's not exactly a terrible angle and at least it's not Mysterio family-bad, but it's hard not to expect more from the top storyline of the women's division. I guess it works since not every storyline can be bangers, but every element of this angle just feels too basic for my taste. And just like clockwork, the babyface champion awards the title shot to the heel right there and then instead of waiting for the next PPV. See what I mean? 

    You already know my problems with Carmella's revamp and this week's addition to her already redundant persona didn't help her case at all. Hooray for her for bagging yet another manservant at her corner, I guess. Tell me I'm not the only one who sees the pattern here. Apparently, Carmella can only get over as a heel when she's manhandling a man to her whim. The only way to make this gimmick a bit fresher is to have her change assistants every week for comedic reasons. That would be fun. 

    I do have to commend them for making this championship match this week's main event. That I can respect. Adam Pearce scores another point as the best authority figure we've had in years. And their match wasn't bad at all, it was actually a good one despite the predictable ending. When Carmella's not spamming mule kicks, she can deliver a great performance and since she has Sasha Banks as her partner, they glued together one hell of a main event. More women's main events, please. 

    THE FINAL BREAKDOWN: The Blue Brand is definitely getting their groove back with yet another solid show from top to bottom. The main event kicked ass, Roman Reigns stole the show once again, and not a single of airtime was wasted (except maybe for the quick women's tag). And hey, no Mysterio family this week! Now I know why this show went well. 

    Show Grade: A

    BreakDown Thoughts That Didn't Make It

    • Another fun match we got this week was Dolph Ziggler vs. Montez Ford. What else did you expect from two of WWE's most exciting workers? Why can't we have Ziggler in the main event scene again?

    • The Alpha gimmick solidified the idea that Chad Gable should've been Kurt Angle's fake son all along because man, Gable is such a dead ringer for a young and comedic Angle. He's also wearing a singlet now! He looks perfect! And yeah. Otis is there too, I guess.

    • What's worse than losing an eye, King Corbin? Losing two eyes? Now that I've got to see. 

    • Kevin Owens definitely missed an opportunity to sneak in an "I AM THE TABLE!" reference in his well-written promo. It's now ruined for me. 0 stars.

    • I know I said I love Billie Kay last week, but man, her tag match this week definitely stunk. Good for her for bagging the BOAT as her tag partner, but the less we talk about this match, the better. 

    GIF of the Week

    One of my bucket list items is to get swung by Cesaro.  

    Photo from WWE.com


    Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's resident RAW reviewer...  for better or worse. A known lover of wrestling tournaments, he's a sucker for well-executed promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. LET HIM IN.

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    Item Reviewed: The SmackDown BreakDown (12/11/20): It is I, The Head of the Table Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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