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    Tuesday, November 24, 2020

    The RAW RhetoRick (11/23/20): Winners Can't Be Choosers

    WWE Official (whatever that title means) Adam Pearce just became my favorite authoritative figure of all time by simply rewarding the Survivor Series winners. I'm Ricky Publico, and this is the RAW RhetoRick.

    While the highlights of this year's Survivor Series were Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns and the Undertaker's nth farewell, my ultimate picks were definitely the men and women's traditional Survivor Series matches. Team RAW's clean sweep definitely felt fresh while Lana being the Sole Survivor win was a masterclass in executing an endgame. Every winner looked like a million bucks and every loser didn't walk out a complete wreck. I also enjoyed Bobby Lashley decimating Sami Zayn.

    That leads us to this week's interruption chain opening segment. Look at that, Team RAW actually got rewarded for their efforts. Sure, they had to fight for the reward, but hey, winners can't be choosers. A reward is a reward! Isn't that amazing? We've been bitching for weeks that both teams of the T-Shirt Wars need something to fight for. Better late than never, I guess. So what's this precious reward they're going to have to fight for? A WWE Championship opportunity? Hey, not too shabby.

    Also, the segment ended with Braun Strowman headbutting Pearce because 🤷. Strowman just became the pettiest train worker in the entire wrestling world because holy shit, being referred to as "last but not the least" isn't something even the pettiest person I know will react to. That one's just too random. Anyway, the headbutt Pearce received probably led him to book three qualifying matches for next week's triple threat for the aforementioned title shot. Again, not too shabby.

    It's definitely not shabby since we got Keith Lee vs. Bobby Lashley I, Riddle vs. Sheamus II, and AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton LCXVIISDF. Man, Pearce could've been more creative with those pairings, but I really can't complain because I could watch Riddle and Sheamus hit each other's white bodies all day long. Keith Lee vs. Bobby Lashley was basically a muscles go brrrrr match that tried too hard to protect both men. And Orton and Styles can headline any show. I really have nothing more to say other than thank heavens we won't be seeing another Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton match.   

    Sole Survivor Lana also received some sort of reward in the form of a title match against Asuka. And you know what, I'm totally on board with this, especially if she keeps picking up victories thanks to dumb luck. I'm just glad they're making sense of this Lana push without insulting everyone's intelligence. Yeah, she probably can't wrestle a five-star match, but give her a proper storyline to work with and eventually, people will get behind the idea of Lana being a "mega babyface."

    I also can't ignore the in-ring debut of Alexa Fiend. And yes, her in-ring character work is as good as advertised. From her creepily childish taunts to her pretending to have waken up from the Fiend's influence, Alexa Fiend delivered the goods and spared no expense, even if they were only given a few minutes to tell their story. It's okay, it's not like Alexa and Nikki Cross needed a twenty-minute thriller of a match to get the message across: Alexa is too far gone and there's no turning back now. 

    CLOSING RHETORICK: As an action-packed episode, I didn't hate it. Kudos for giving the Survivor Series winners the reward they deserve, but not at the expense of the Hurt Business eating big losses. Great moments are scattered here and there, but overall, this week's episode still felt like a chore to sit through. In short, the same old Monday night blues. Sorry, not even the Firefly Fun House segment could save this one. 

    Show Grade: C-

    RhetoRickal Questions That Fill Up the Space

    • Is losing worse than not appearing at all? That's probably what RETRIBUTION is asking right now. Talk about stifling the momentum of a fledging stable after effectively killing it in the first place. Imagine not appearing at Survivor Series and RAW. Ali probably sucks at hacking now. 

    • Did you care about Friendship the Frog? I sure didn't. This is rare, a Firefly Fun House that's just "meh." I guess they can't all be winners, but Friendship the Frog just felt uninspired. Like, is Nikki Cross supposed to be a frog? If they just needed a puppet to pummel, why not stick with ol' reliable Ramblin' Rabbit? I still love you though, Alexa Fiend. Please don't eat me. 

    • Is dumping on the Hurt Business good business? Not a great week for Lashley's company of businesspeople. They probably should've won the RAW Tag Team Championships after that fluke (or probably botched) count-out loss and Lashley should've qualified for next week's triple threat main event. They better throw the Hurt Business two huge penny-title-sized bones next week because this certainly isn't good business. 

    GIF of the Week

    It's like watching Chuckie before his deformed form. I wonder what a masked-up Alexa Fiend will look like. 

    Photo from WWE.com


    Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's resident RAW reviewer...  for better or worse. A known lover of wrestling tournaments, he's a sucker for well-executed promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. LET HIM IN.

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    Item Reviewed: The RAW RhetoRick (11/23/20): Winners Can't Be Choosers Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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