You know what I found out about myself this week? I can't stand rah-rah speeches anymore, especially from bland babyfaces. I'm Ricky Publico, and this is the RAW RhetoRick.
So Drew McItnyre is once again the WWE Champion. Great. Now what? Because if you've been following his narrative so far, his character revolved around the WWE Championship. Losing it for a few weeks was actually good for him because at least he got to have a personality a bit. I was actually more invested in Randy Orton because aside from the fact that he's earned the right to have an edge, Orton was far more entertaining in the past few weeks. Remember when he rapped that one time?
While everyone's bitching about short-term booking and how McIntyre losing the title in the first place was pointless, I'm actually more annoyed that we won't be seeing the last of Orton vs. McIntyre. And now that he's champion again, expect more rah-rah speeches and bland babyface clichés. I'll bet that in a span of one month, he'll definitely tick all or most of the tropes from this list:
- Lecture everyone about hard work and dedication
- Cut any variation of the "I did it on my own" promo
- Brag about not having anyone open doors for him
- Mention a trending topic and incorporate it in his promo
- Have a dance party with New Day
- Issue an open challenge to "anyone with a face"
- Be involved in a never-ending rivalry with Randy Orton
Speaking of Bray Wyatt, of course we're not going to ignore this week's Firefly Fun House segment. I learned a lot, too. Who knew you can spell jackass in just three letters. I also felt like Bray screamed our internal feelings for 2020 during the "Agility" bit. It was so outrageous I can't help but crack up and sympathize. Same, Bray Wyatt, same. It's also great how we're not getting a Fun House segment every week to preserve its freshness. Don't worry Bray, you don't need to flex on us every week.
Also, you gotta love how they're recognizing continuity with Miz still acting terrified at the sight of Bray Wyatt. And what about Alexa Bliss just creeping out (and then pouncing on) John Morrison (and basically everyone else) at ringside? Lovely. Bray Wyatt vs. The Miz was basically a squash match, but I'd say it's more of a Normal Bray showcase and I loved every bit of it. Plus, Nikki Cross finally decided to join the mess. She makes the perfect first target for the Fiend-ified Bliss.
And what's this? RETRIBUTION winning a match? Man, 2020 is really trying hard to redeem itself. Technically, this wasn't their first victory. Mustafa Ali decisively beat Ricochet last week but c'mon, that's nothing. The Bane Club scoring a victory over four of RAW's biggest names is the boost they desperately need. For the first time in a long while, Ali (and sure, let's include his associates, too) looked like a million bucks. Even Mia Yim scored points for "injuring" Dana Brooke. Brilliant.
I mean, it's a rollup victory and they're still portrayed as a group of weaklings, but it's a good first step towards relevancy. Heck, the pre-match promo from RETRIBUTION actually made sense and for a failing stable like them, succeeding in something they planned to do works wonders for their stock. Now Ali can talk a big game and not look like a loser doing it. Now all they need is to find better names and RETRIBUTION is all set to stardom. Lose the masks, too. They're so goddamn tacky.
CLOSING RHETORICK: Despite the main event's meh-ness, this week's episode was actually a solid one. We got a Firefly Fun House out of it, a fun tag team match, and RETRIBUTION actually picking up a win as a unit. If you're a Drew McIntyre fan, you'll probably enjoy this episode more than I did. If you're a Mustafa Ali fan, you can finally watch RAW without facepalming.
Show Grade: C+
RhetoRickal Questions I Didn't Bother Including in the Main Article
- Is the Lana storyline actually good? Okay, you know what? I'm actually starting to like the Lana storyline. Not because it's actually good or anything like that, it's just you know when something is repeated 10 times and it slowly becomes funnier by the minute? And the gag is so consistent that you can't help but appreciate it.
- Don't you just love New Day's new tag team finisher? It sounds great, too. The Daybreak. Definitely a step up from Midnight Hour. Big E's right shoulder is probably taking a well-deserved vacation now that he's busy hustling randos on SmackDown.
- Who else didn't expect Jordan Omogbehin to speak? I wish he didn't speak to end that backstage segment. They pretty much killed his mysterious vibe a bit with this one. At least there's still the mystery of them teaming up in the first place.
GIF of the Week
WHAT A MATCH!#WWERaw #TagTitles @TrueKofi @AustinCreedWins pic.twitter.com/zAeN1DdFxb
— WWE (@WWE) November 17, 2020
: #LOLMcIntyreWins){kind=link}