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    Friday, October 30, 2020

    #FinisherFriday (10/30/20): The Tazzmission's True Identity

    Welcome to another edition of #FinisherFriday! This is Wreddit_Regal giving you an analysis of a submission finisher that isn't exactly what you thought it was.

    The Tazmaniac, now known as Tazz or Taz (depending on the promotion), is definitely one of the familiar names that would be mentioned whenever a discussion about ECW legends would start. A two-time World Heavyweight Champion, a two-time World Television Champion, a three-time World Tag Team Champion, and a two time (and the first-ever) FTW Heavyweight Champion, he left ECW while still being on top of the food chain and moved to WWE. Sadly, his injuries prevented him from dominating the McMahon territory, and instead found his niche as the color commentator that we all love to this day.

    Taz's arsenal consisted of the classic strikes and technical wrestling, amplified to an almost brutal degree. Examples are:

    Angry Man Clothesline

    Brooklyn Boot

    Multiple suplex variations (which is where he got the moniker "The Human Suplex Machine")

    and this week's finisher of focus, the Tazzmission:

    Breaking down the move into chunks:

    1. The attacker stands behind the opponent
    2. The attacker uses his/her left arm to trap the opponent's left arm in a half nelson hold
    3. The attacker wraps his/her right arm around the opponent's neck
    4. The attacker usually falls back to a grounded position, using both of his/her arms to allegedly choke out the opponent

    This submission is classified by most wrestling enthusiasts as a no-gi version of judo's katahajime move:

    This maneuver utilizes the opponent's own clothing to constrict the carotid arteries, shutting off circulation to the brain which causes a blackout within seconds.

    Immediately, two arguments to the wrestling hold come to mind:

    1. Taz's opponents don't even have shirts in which he can hold, and as a result
    2. The right arm is "open," which totally eliminates the possibility of a choke

    Both arguments are true if the Tazzmission was actually a no-gi katahajime. But what if I told you that it wasn't?

    The whole mechanics of the Tazzmission are, should I say, an incomplete version of the half nelson-to-neck crank (shown below):

    Since Taz finishes the choke in either a standing, kneeling, or grounded position, the next plausible thing to consider is that instead of tilting the head forward, he forces the neck to bend in a lateral position by pushing his left elbow towards his right side, similar to the neck crank shown below:

    Now, don't follow up with "But Taz's right arm isn't holding on to his left forearm, how the hell could he submit opponents with an open hold?" Instead, ask yourself what would happen if Tazz actually went full MMA on his opponents in the ring.

    Using my Regal Rating, I would give this move a

    8/10 for aesthetics. Tazz does it like a true assassin, not taking any time for any flashy pose of the sort. He closes in to his prey like a hungry wolf and BAM! Hold secured.

    9.5/10 for damage. I would give this a perfect 10 if he did it MMA style, but I get it. Tazz doesn't need his full strength and textbook-perfect form to make guys tap or pass out.

    And that's it chaps, my analysis of the Tazzmission! Do you have other finishers in mind in which I can dissect? Let us know in the comment section below!


    Wreddit_Regal is the resident sports kinesiologist of Reddit's wrestling forum, r/squaredcircle. From the most basic of punches to the most intricate double-team maneuvers, he can explain them within the realm of human anatomy and physics, because when doing absolutely nothing wrestling-related, he also happens to work as an operating room nurse.

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    Item Reviewed: #FinisherFriday (10/30/20): The Tazzmission's True Identity Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Wreddit_Regal
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