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    Monday, December 2, 2019

    SmackDown RunDown (11/29/19): Daniel Bryan Lost to a Torso

    Every week here at the SmackDown RunDown headquarters (which is basically just me staring at a blank .doc file, waiting for the review to write itself), I'm faced with a dilemma: Do I complain about the bland, dull, uninspired things that plague the entire show or do I look the other way and focus on the positives? At this point, it's too repetitive to do both. 

    For instance, I just hate how the Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin segment took one-fourth of the show for them to end up with a long squash match. Now you might say it wasn't a squash match because it obviously lasted more than five minutes, but 95% of Roman's matches always end with him winning anyway. Who cares if it took him 30 minutes this time? Why did it take 30 minutes to job RObert Roode out? When will we ever see Reigns lose clean again?

    You know who else could've used 30 minutes worth of airtime? The New Day open challenge. We could've seen more of Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro dominating the New Day before Sami Zayn made the fatal mistake of getting involved. Or how about Mustafa Ali vs. Drew Gulak? Sure, they don't have a good storyline either, but at least you're sure as hell going to get a nail-biter of an instant classic. Instead, we got Roode being literally buried. 

    And as for the positives? Of course it's going to be the Bray Wyatt vs. Daniel Bryan saga. SmackDown literally has nothing going on except for this balls-to-the-walls rivalry. If you thought their previous promos together were great, this week's episode trumps that. For starters, D-Bry brought back the Yes! Movement to counter the negative effects of being around The Fiend. I guess Wyatt has a dirty hand. I don't know what he touches before he puts it on his victims' mouths. 

    It's probably coincidental, but The Fiend's previous rivals did end up turning heel after feuding with him. Finn Bálor is doing good for himself at NXT while Seth Rollins is about to make his Twitter persona his in-ring gimmick. And now Bryan is in danger of joining the club. Now that's riveting storytelling. And Wyatt's promise of introducing a new face wasn't what we thought it was. He will literally show everyone a new face—a disfigured face of Daniel Bryan, perhaps. 

    What, you thought he was talking about his ugly-ass belt for The Fiend? Yeah, I guess that makes sense, too. I'm pretty sure the other side of that guy doesn't need a belt of his own. It's not like The Fiend will start carrying that thing around at title matches. Imagine winning that creepy-ass belt after a grueling match. Yeah, it's not even worth calling a title. It's a goddamn belt with a hideous face on it. And they're selling it for $6,800? Get outta here. 

    But there's a glimmer of hope. WWE probably saw how bland the Blue Brand has become that they decided to cram all the returning Superstars in this one random episode. The biggest of them is the return of Sheamus in all his 2009-2013 glory. I've always preferred the Lobster Head Sheamus over the You Look Stupid Sheamus and I'm glad he's coming back to the Blue Brand. He'll certainly be a breath of fresh air to a Roman Reigns-locked main event scene. 

    We also saw the return of Alexa Bliss, her first appearance since she was drafted to SmackDown. It's fun to see the Goddess once again and she certainly looks healthy enough. Hopefully, her presence could give the SmackDown women's division the adrenaline pump it definitely needs. While they're definitely up to something with Lacey Evans seemingly turning face and Bayley being a punk-ass champ, SmackDown needs all the star power it can get.

    And hey, Elias is back! Now here's a guy who needs to take advantage of the situation. Who else can generate great reactions without being boring as fuck than Elias? It looks like he'll be working as a babyface, which is fine, I guess. Although SmackDown probably needs more compelling heels other than Bray Wyatt. Elias will surely fit the bill like a glove. 

    SMACKDOWN RUNDOWN: Same old, same old. Bray Wyatt and his fantastic promo work is still the highlight of the show and him ripping off Daniel Bryan's hair closed the show, as it should. I'm hyped about the returns but other than that, this show's just okay. I definitely need less Roman Reigns and King Corbin and more of everything else. That's the bare minimum I could ask for from the show I used to love. 

    Show Grade: C

    RunDown CutDown

    • Now I know never to trust those reptilians, thanks to Bray Wyatt and his muscle man dance that never gets old.
    • I love how they featured Dana Brooke on her phone backstage as a reference to her ongoing flirtation with Batista. You go, girl! Get yourself some Animal ass.
    • Speaking of Dana Brooke, why is Drake Maverick trying to hit on her? It's like he's asking to get whooped by Batista's huge dick or something. You have a wife to consummate your marriage with!
    • Was there ever a time Kofi Kingston lost balance and dropped the huge plate of pancakes he’s holding? I would assume it's happened at least once.
    Photos from WWE.com


    Ricky Publico (@TeetotaleRicky) is Smark Henry's resident SmackDown reviewer... for better or worse. A known lover of wrestling tournaments, he's a sucker for well-executed promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's also deciding whether to buy another iPhone or not.
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    Item Reviewed: SmackDown RunDown (11/29/19): Daniel Bryan Lost to a Torso Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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