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    Friday, July 13, 2018

    SmackDown RunDown Live (7/10/18): It’s Gonna Be “Meh”

    Instead of starting this column with another rant about how Extreme Rules is a four-hour shit show waiting to hit the fan, I’ll just enumerate some matches or moments that I would’ve preferred to see this week. I know y’all sick of rants anyway, so it’s a nice change of pace for us here at SmackDown RunDown. Feel free to suggest more ideas.

    • Samoa Joe starting a feud with literally anyone 
    • The Bar and The Club fighting in the pub 
    • Tye Dillinger just rating everyone below 10 
    • Becky Lynch making Billie Kay tap because continuity 
    • Andrade “Cien” Almas beating Sin Cara already 
    • Some Uso Penitentiary badassery 
    • Anyone know where R-Truth is? 

    Welcome to Teddy Long’s Wet Dream

    Whoever booked this week’s episode was probably possessed by Teddy Long (which is weird because he’s pretty much alive and well) because hot damn, they spared no expense on these tag matches. One involved a bait-and-switch, while the other one just lumped everyone inside the ring. Let’s just start with the first one and be done with it.

    Oh look, it’s AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura! Oh shit, that’s something we’ve never seen before. We definitely didn’t just see this creepy-ass dude when his entire push as a main eventer was up against the wall last month in his 453rd WWE Championship opportunity. Boy, I bet they gon’ tear up the house one more time. Oh boy, here we go. Let’s do this. Aaand it’s now a tag team match. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    At the very least, Rusev came out of this random tag match more intimidating than a space cowboy on an intergalactic desert. That’s the only positive thing from this bland build-up. Are you even excited to see this one? I’m a huge fan of both men and I’m utterly bored by whatever story they’re trying to tell. Look, I can summarize the angle for you: Rusev is just a random challenger Styles has to go over, and that’s about it. I bet everything I own Styles will retain on Monday (Manila Time).

    But what probably ruined this episode was the lazy 10-man main event that didn’t really do a thing to advance any storyline whatsoever. If anything, it further minimized SAnitY’s stock as a monster stable as they have yet to win a match on the main roster. It’s more than a feeling at this point, but I believe they wasted opportunity after opportunity to build them up as a formidable trio. Your ramblings mean nothing, Big Damo and company. We all can see right through you.

    And while I’m glad Kane and Daniel Bryan are together again, I’m not sure if they need all this momentum. If you think about it, Team Hell No has been selfish throughout the entire build-up, racking up the momentum away from the tag champs. Is it such a riddle to give the Bludgeons an upper hand once in a while? They’re supposed to be the dominant, OP tag team champions. I drive myself crazy just thinking about it. But whatever, do your thing.

    I guess the main event wasn’t entirely useless because it brought da noise to the tag team division. So there’s that. Someday, somewhere, we’re going to see a better episode of SmackDown Live and think to ourselves, “Yeah, this is where the party’s at.”

    You’re welcome, Kane.

    Ellsworth’s Sidekick Gets One over Asuka

    Enough with these shitty “Battle of the Sexes” matches already. It’s so fucking pointless. Who benefits when James Ellsworth tweets about men being better than women? Who exactly benefits when he boasts about being a stud of a man, only to cower at the sight of strong women? And who in the blue hell benefits when he acts like a fucking creep around the freakin’ SmackDown Live GM? Like, are we giving this guy a massive heel push or something?

    Does it benefit Carmella? He provides distraction, I guess, but literally anyone can do that for her. Does it help garner Carmella heel heat? Not really, since the spotlight has now been shifted to a guy who has no direct business with the current storyline. Did we really need a stupid lumberjack match just for Ellsworth to spray some shit on Asuka’s face? Absolutely not.

    The women of SmackDown Live deserve better than to randomly attack each other while doing lumberjack duties. And I guess they already forgot about Becky Lynch’s streak of meaningless wins. I guess they’re just that, meaningless. Tell me again why she didn’t win the briefcase last month?

    SMACKDOWN DIGITAL GET DOWN: Here you go, people, the worst episode of SmackDown Live for this year. Shows like this often remind us that an unimaginative and lazy writing staff is the death of a brand, no matter how talented the roster is. I thought this was a RAW thing, but I guess the plague has reached Tuesday nights. Your boyband references ain’t enough to save this boring go-home show. So whatever, here’s your grade you’ve worked so hard for.

    Some Blue Brand Thoughts That Didn’t Make It

    • I am being told that Andrade “Cien” Almas finally faced Sin Cara this week. I must’ve missed it since I was busy taking down notes. Did Meltzer give it 5 stars? 
    • Paige came out to fix the ruckus between Styles, Rusev, Nakamura, and Hardy but didn’t bother addressing the four teams who brawled earlier in the show. The word of the week is consistency. 
    • The most entertaining parts of the show were the *NSYNC references and the last segment where D-Bry was trying to conjure Kane’s pyro. Would it hurt if they made the rest of the show as entertaining as Team Hell No? 

    Photos from WWE.com


    Ricky Jay Publico (@NitPickRick) is a wrestling fan who enjoys watching high flyers and brawlers battle it out in the ring. A frequent Botchamania binge-watcher, he claims to have memorized the chronological order of Royal Rumble winners, but fails to remember who won in 2004. He writes stories about life and nonsense.
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    Item Reviewed: SmackDown RunDown Live (7/10/18): It’s Gonna Be “Meh” Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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