728x90 AdSpace

  • Latest Posts

    Wednesday, May 30, 2018

    The Smark Henry RAW Report (5/28/18): Money In The Banks

    Another week, another episode of Monday Night RAW. While I haven't truly been enjoying the show in its entirety since WrestleMania, I keep my fingers crossed every week just so I don't sound like a real meanie-pants in my reviews. Money In The Bank is still far away from today, and I want it to come now before my head explodes with all these useless rematches, like what I ranted about last week.

    And of course, because the universe hates me, the first match of the show had to be another rematch. Sigh. I'll hand it to Finn Bálor and Braun Strowman, though—their match was entertaining to watch and I actually enjoy seeing them wrestle. But they need to stop right here before I change my mind.

    The final name has been added for the women's MITB match: Sasha Banks. Maybe she can stop throwing herself a pity party on social media now.

    No really, she'd post a simple photo on Instagram and caption with something so cryptic that has absolutely nothing to do with the picture. It's so annoying! There have been rumors that the reason why the WWE has dropped the ball on her storyline with Bayley is because Sasha has an attitude problem—and while we must take all dirtsheet news with a grain of salt, I wouldn't even be remotely surprised if it were true.

    A post shared by Sasha Banks (@sashabankswwe) on

    A post shared by Sasha Banks (@sashabankswwe) on

    A post shared by Sasha Banks (@sashabankswwe) on

    So tell us, maybe?!

    Anyway, going back to the Gauntlet Match, I was actually happy that was the main event—I feel like the women have been a little neglected lately compared to how it was a few months ago. The match started off fine—ha ha, screw you, Liv Morgan! You deserve it!—and eventually picked up the pace, specifically when Sasha Banks entered the match. She and Ruby Riott put on a fast-paced matchup that looked a little too choreographed, but was significantly more interesting than the previous rounds. The order of which the women came out, however, made the results beyond predictable—there truly is an obvious hierarchy in the women's division.

    Albeit whiny on social media, Sasha Banks was the right choice to win this match. There is no denying that she is one of the best female wrestlers in both the RAW and SmackDown rosters combined. Her ability to think so quickly on her feet is impressive: she turned a botch move from Ruby into a Bank Statement in like 0.72 seconds and made it look like nothing happened. With that said, we need Sasha Banks in the MITB ladder match.

    Meanwhile, the RAW Women's Champion, Nia Jax, just turned heel again. Welp. Everything was so kind and amicable at first! It's like Stephanie McMahon cast some spell on her last week or something. From bullied to bully real quick. It really didn't help that she laughed at Ronda Rousey's face like that—nothing screams "evil bitch" more than making a laughing stock out of another person. I guess one of them had to do it, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be Ronda.

    Okay, so, basically, Nia Jax was provoking Ronda Rousey and was insisting that the latter wouldn't be able to put the Champ in an armbar. We all know where this leads, though—I'm so sorry if the following will spoil you, but yes, Ronda will end up putting Nia in an arm bar. If I predict wrongly, tell me, and I'll buy you a slice of pizza. I'm a really broke college girl, so you can tell I'm pretty confident about this.

    Ultimately, I'm excited to see this match mostly because of the suspense that comes with not knowing who's going to win, and not so much the storyline itself. But this segment sure did help me get excited a lot.

    Holy shit, a Seth Rollins and Elias feud? It's going to be really hard to distinguish who's who! Just kidding, we all know Elias is obviously the discounted version of Seth.

    It was a good match between Seth Rollins and Jinder Mahal, and that fall from the commentary table linked above looked pretty neat. Seth Rollins is MVP, and we all know that, so why did they make it seem like Seth couldn't survive without Roman Reigns? ...Please.

    The show really focused on the buildups for the upcoming Money In The Bank pay-per-view, finally completing the lineups for both ladder matches and moving forward with the storylines outside of those. This week's episode was far more eventful than last week's, so I'll grade it a B-.

    Quick Hitters:
    • Sami Zayn apologized to everyone for the prank he pulled last week, but stayed true to the stuff he said about Bobby Lashley. They ended up making the match official for MITB, so, uhm, there's that.
    • I'm not sure how I felt about the food fight between the B-Team, and the rest of the RAW tag team division. It was like watching all my hope for them being flushed down the toilet. And that included their division's champions.

    Photos by WWE, and super creative meme by yours truly
    • Blogger Comments
    • Facebook Comments
    Item Reviewed: The Smark Henry RAW Report (5/28/18): Money In The Banks Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Unknown
    Scroll to Top