Not you, Lana! It’s me, Ricky, and as of this moment, your attention is under my siege of mindless paragraphs and unfunny jokes! What a crazy week we’ve had! Kurt Angle wrestled again, Styles vs. Balor, and now the SmackDown Live siege! A lot of cool things are happening so let’s start picking this show apart.
#UnderSiege and how it all makes sense
While the whole RAW siege is cool and all, it isn’t without its flaws. For one, it would’ve felt more serious if the SmackDown guys beat up all members of the Red Brand. It would be fun to see guys like The Miz, Sheamus, and Cesaro get ganged up on. Hell, they could’ve attacked Kane too. Also, some notable SmackDown Superstars were absent during the siege. Imagine Charlotte Flair manhandling Asuka backstage or Naomi kicking some Emma butt. The Usos would be perfect as part of the ring leaders and last but not the least, I'd love to see Randy Orton give everyone an RKO frararanawr. Just nitpicks, it’s my thing, I know I’m annoying.
What’s weird is that the siege threw away friendships and storylines in exchange for an all-out gang war. Other than the fact that they have to sell a PPV, what was Shane McMahon’s beef with Kurt Angle to execute such a calculated attack? AJ Styles competed for RAW and teamed up with Dean and Seth the same night he joined his brand in carrying out the attack. That’s a bit weird. Becky Lynch attacked Sasha Banks and Bayley. What’s up with that? These people have no beef with each other than the fact that their boss told them to do so. Shane himself just came from a hot storyline and a grueling HIAC match, and the moment he returned, his focus immediately turned to kicking RAW’s ass? Everything just felt forced if you ask me. Call me a party pooper any day.
These issues aside, I do have to point out the tension between SmackDown Live GM Daniel Bryan and Shane O’Mac. The way Shane explained the siege and his overall view of the situation was totally out of his benevolent commissioner persona. Luckily, Creative caught up on that and immediately sent Daniel Bryan to act as the voice of reason. I really like how SmackDown can adapt storylines to fit the current narrative because I’m pretty sure the siege and the brand supremacy wasn’t the original game plan for Survivor Series. So now, the siege made sense and multiple storylines were set into motion, including D-Bry feeling betrayed and Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens being the Blue Brand’s outcasts. As the cool kids say, what a save.
Let me just predict the men’s Survivor Series team real quick. Shane will finally make each member earn their spot, something he failed to do last year. Randy Orton just qualified to be part of it and Shinsuke Nakamura is obviously in, so my other picks will include AJ Styles, Rusev, and Bobby Roode. Orton will of course be captain because he always wins these damn five-on-five matches, but I’m okay with Styles being captain, too. Sami Zayn and Owens will surely spoil the fun for the Blue Brand, leading to RAW’s first victory in a five-on-five brand supremacy match.
Meanwhile, the ladies of SmackDown Live already decided their team captain in a fatal five-way with Becky Lynch making Carmella tap for the win. No complaints here. Charlotte was my immediate pick but I guess they have to give Becky a bit of the spotlight. Looking at it now, Naomi being the unpredictable choice for captain could also work to perfectly match RAW’s out-of-the-box captain herself, Alicia Fox. It’s still weird reading that last sentence though. Alicia freakin’ Fox is leading the women of RAW. It sounds baffling but at the same time, well-deserved. Good for her.
Jinder Mahal's awful kickoff to his Survivor Series build
How can you even take Jinder Mahal seriously after Paul Heyman tore him a new one this week on RAW? If Kurt Angle didn’t stupidly announce their champ vs. champ match at the start of the show, Paul Heyman’s promo would probably circle around the fact that Lesnar would not accept the challenge, and rightfully so. This match-up isn’t going to work from the get go and it sucks that we all have to watch as Creative tries to build up this match for another four weeks. It will be hard to watch as Jinder gets destroyed week after week with vicious Heyman promos and all Jinder can do in retaliation is to make fun of his manager and not his actual opponent. Do I have to explain again why this match would totally benefit no one?
Oh, and Sunil Singh wrestled AJ Styles. You’d think Styles will have taken a day off since he’s been working matches for four straight days, but no, he had to come out and take on one of Jinder’s henchmen. This guy’s awesome. If he’s not the WWE Champion by the end of the year, I’d be pissed.
Some Blue Brand Vibes and Blues—Live!
Vibe: I still don’t know if Chad Gable and *whisper* Shelton… Benjamin have become heels. The way they beat the New Day this week was so shady that you’re not sure if what they did was cheating or a product of solid coordination. It’s also weird how Xavier Woods was pinned after a solid roundhouse kick to the back. That sounded a bit anticlimactic. Anyway, it was a good match to put Chad Gable and *whisper* Shelton… Benjamin over. I don’t really want them and The Usos to switch roles all of a sudden. I like heel Usos. I want me some penitentiary.
Blue: Am I the only one not getting how Baron Corbin is being booked as the United States Champion? I'm not really sure how this will benefit him in the long run. Sin Cara is obviously the winner here since he gets to be featured more. Good job, by the way. I just think we need to build Corbin up as a dominating champion, just like how he defeated AJ Styles in their rematch three weeks ago. You can't just have him be dominating one week and losing his cool the second. Just sayin'.
Blue: Are they trying to turn Bobby Roode heel by annoying the hell out of us? Because these Ziggler-Roode promos are so boring, it makes me want to boo both men. I’m not going to complain if they want Roode as a heel. Clearly, being the good guy isn’t working out for the Glorious One. Let’s just use this 2-out-of-3 Falls match to jumpstart a double turn and hit two birds with one stone: fitting Roode the right role and shooting Ziggler back to relevance.
SMACKDOWN RUNDOWN: This week was focused on kick-starting the Survivor Series and despite my lingering questions and nitpicks, I’m all up for it. I can’t wait for this year’s team to be formed and the imminent retaliation from RAW. For now, I’ll just have to settle with a management dispute, the establishment of the women’s team, and Sami Zayn being a delusional asshole. Let’s give this one a B for now since the next few episodes will probably be better.
Did you enjoy this week’s SmackDown Live? Who do you think should captain Team NXT? Infect me with your viral infection at the comments below. I just want to skip work.
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Ricky Jay Publico (@NitPickRick) is a wrestling fan who enjoys watching high flyers and brawlers battle it out in the ring. A known Botchamania binge-watcher, he claims to have memorized the chronological order of Royal Rumble winners, but fails to remember who won in 2004. He writes stories about life and nonsense.
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