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    Wednesday, February 10, 2016

    Smark Survey (2/10/16): What Are The Five Greatest Nicknames In Pro Wrestling?

    It's been ages since we last ran one of our world-famous Smark Surveys, so amidst all this depression over Daniel Bryan's retirement, let's get some fun back into rasslin', shall we?

    In the world of professional sports, nicknames are a serious business. Even casual spectators don't have to think twice when they hear such monikers as "His Airness," "The Triggerman," "Pacman," or "Black Mamba."

    "His Airness" really needs no explanation.
    Pro wrestling has its own array of great nicknames too. "The Nature Boy." "The Game." "The Rated-R Superstar." "The Most Electrifying Man In Sports Entertainment." "The Deadman." "The Texas Rattlesnake." "The Man That Gravity Forgot." "The Viper." "The Heartbreak Kid." "The American Dream." The list goes on and on.

    Confession: We don't actually know what a Nature Boy is, but whatever it is must be pretty damn cool. 
    But more than just giving us shorthand by which to refer to our favorite grapplers, these names give instant backstory and depth to the talents who have transcended stardom and become icons in their own right. 

    And then we have the lazy ones, either playing on alliterative initials (sorry, Arn Anderson, Austin Aries, Jeff Jarrett, and Triple H), or running the more pedestrian "The _____ One" trope: "The Great One," "The Rowdy One," "The Immortal One," "The Bizarre One," or "The Phenomenal One." Shawn Michaels should thank the stars he never got saddled with "The Sexy One" as his nickname.

    Frankly, "bizarre" is the kindest way you could describe Goldust. 
    At the bottom of the barrel, we have some truly terrible ones that never quite took off. Perhaps they were too much of a mouthful ("Charismatic Enigma" or "Cerebral Assassin," anyone?), ill-fitting ("Doctor of Desire" was just never right for Tom Pritchard), or just plain lame (hey, Adam Rose, what the hell is a "Radical Mongoose" anyway?).

    Because "Sexually-Confused Junkie" just wasn't PC enough.
    So for this edition of Smark Survey we want to know one thing: What do you consider the greatest nicknames in all of pro wrestling history?

    Think in terms of how well it fit the character, how iconic it was, how well it rolled off the tongue, or how cool it looked on a shirt.

    List down your five favorite ones in no particular order in the comments below. We'll count up the results and give y'all a full tally somewhere down the line.
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