728x90 AdSpace

  • Latest Posts

    Sunday, January 3, 2016

    The WWE vs. PWR Supercard We'd Love To See

    What if 2016 could be the year that the Philippine Wrestling Revolution hits the global stage? With its ninth show, PWR Live, scheduled to kick off the year with a bang on January 31, 2016 at the iAcademy Auditorium in Makati, the local pro wrestling scene looks healthier than ever.

    PWR General Manager Mr. Sy has big things promised in 2016. "If you thought 2015 was an explosive year for PWR, then you have no idea what 2016's about to bring," he said in an interview with Smark Henry. "We've set quite the bar for ourselves, but as a company, PWR is going to eclipse that and do even better by this time next year."

    And what could be more explosive than a partnership with the juggernaut of pro wrestling the world over, World Wrestling Entertainment? Around these here parts, we like to dream big, so we've put together what we think would be the ultimate supercard to bring together the Superstars of the WWE and PWR. Hey, if Mr. Sy can scrape together a partnership with Malaysia Pro Wrestling (MyPW), what's one more step to get Triple H's ear?

    First off, a show this momentous needs a name. And what's more appropriate than mashing up the names of each promotion's landmark show to signify a mash-up of talent this historic? Putting up a spectacle this grand would cost major dime, so we need one big-ass sponsor as well.

    That's right, Revo-Nation, it's WrevoMania X, combining the power of the WWE's WrestleMania and PWR's Wrevolution X. Obviously, with Coca-Cola stepping up recently to sponsor the Slammies and Tribute to the Troops, we're hoping they can step up to open happiness for Philippine wrestling fans and make this dream come true.

    Now we figured each talent on PWR's 18-man roster deserves an individual showcase, so our supercard features 100% one-on-one match-ups. And we didn't want to work too hard to get any retired legends or Hollywood stars to come over, so only current WWE Superstars are getting booked.

    Reality check: We're pretty sure the WWE guys would wipe the floor with the PWR talents, so we aren't making any far-fetched predictions here. But just having them in the same ring together would be a massive leap forward in itself. So play along with us here.

    Ready to see the supercard of the year? Here's the drop.

    WrevoMania X Pre-Show

    With 18 matches on the show, this supercard is going to be an all-day bonanza. So we figured we had time to kick things off with a pre-show aired on free TV to get the ball rolling.

    Pre-Show Match #1: Ryback vs. Kanto Terror

    In one corner, we have the insatiable appetite of Ryback, the man who's always hungry. In the other, we've got Kanto Terror, the man who's always thirsty. We want to see once and for all who the real bottomless pit of pro wrestling is, so we're booking a Buffet vs. Beer challenge, where the loser is the first man to tap out from all the gluttony.

    We think Yakimix would be a great sponsor, only because they literally never seem to run out of food. Good luck to your livers, gentlemen.

    Pre-Show Match #2: Sin Cara vs. SANDATA

    Now for some real in-ring action. How does a high-stakes mask versus mask challenge between two of wrestling's most secretive talents today, Sin Cara and SANDATA, sound? This match is going to be a match full of aerial theatrics and tons of top-rope dives and headscissor takedowns, folks.

    A match like this needs to be sponsored by the Belo Medical Group, because when the loser finally unmasks, you can bet he's going to start wanting all the facial treatments he can get.

    Pre-Show Match #3: Mark Henry vs. Rederick Mahaba

    The World's Strongest Man versus the Intimate Warrior. World's Strongest Slam versus It's More Slam In The Philippines. Sexual Chocolate versus the Afrodisiac. This is going to be one slobberknocker of a match between two super heavyweights, and what better way to book this than as a Bodyslam Challenge, where the only way to win is to to slam your opponent into the ground?

    Victoria Court would be a great sponsor for this match, because both amorous gentlemen are going to need someplace nice and tasteful to take their lovely lady friends for a post-match celebration.

    Pre-Show Match #4: Xavier Woods vs. Vintendo

    Both Xavier Woods and Vintendo like to game, so what better way to crown the true video game king of rasslin' than a one-of-a-kind Gamer Showdown between the two men? One round of NBA 2K16, one round of WWE 2K16, one round of Mario Kart, followed by an in-ring confrontation should be enough to crown a winner, with the loser being doomed to Brick Game for the rest of his life.

    This match would be brought to you by Data Blitz, your total gaming and multimedia store. There's literally no other choice.

    Pre-Show Match #5: Bo Dallas vs. James "Idol" Martinez

    Now we're not saying either of these dudes are con men or scam artists, but there are days when we find what both men preach a bit dubious, whether it's bolieving or multi-level marketing. We're booking Bo Dallas and James "Idol" Martinez of The Network in a Supplements on a Pole match, where whoever gets the infamous Idol Supplements first gets to use them against his opponent.

    This match will be sponsored by Starbucks, where we hear Idol likes to conduct his recruitment pitches and product orientations. Naka-walong planners nga daw siya nung December pa lang.

    Pre-Show Match #6: Bray Wyatt vs. Mark D. Manalo

    This match pitting the Eater of Worlds against the Fighting Promdi is going to rock all kinds of socks. Bray Wyatt is one of the creepiest, most charismatic, and compelling wrestlers on the planet, while the comedic antics of Mark D. Manalo hide a shockingly competent grappling game. We're not making any guarantees about the in-ring quality of this match, but the promo work is going to be excellent.

    This match would be brought to you by SM Department Store. They've got it all for you, including Hawaiian shirts.

    WrevoMania X: The Main Card

    Now for the 12-match main card featuring the upper crust of the WWE and PWR.

    Match #1: Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Panzer

    We need a high-octane, high drama match to get the crowd really buzzing, so we're booking "The Show-Off" Dolph Ziggler against Chris Panzer, the Leader of the Panzer Army, in a steel cage match. This will give both men the opportunity to flaunt their insane engines, from Ziggler's breathtaking selling and athleticism to Panzer's high energy offense. This match will boil down to who can strike first—Ziggler with his superkick, or Panzer with his Panzerschreck.

    This match is presented by Jollibee, which wasn't an obvious choice at first, but came about because all our female wrestling fan friends insist these two are the most langhap-sarap on their respective rosters.

    Match #2: Rusev vs. Joey Bax

    After all the pyrotechnics that are sure to explode in the first match, we're going to slow things down with Rusev versus Joey Bax of the Fighters 4 Hire in an 'I Quit' match. Choice in facial hair and hairdos aside, these men wrestle similar punishing styles, mixing hard-hitting strikes and slams with murderous submissions. Who can make his opponent cry uncle first, Rusev with his Accolade camel clutch, or Joey Bax with his front Russian legsweep known as The Hit?

    This match needs to be sponsored by Cobra Energy Drink, for everyone out there who says "Gusto ko pa!"

    Match #3: Kevin Owens vs. Main Maxx

    This is a natural match-up between two men whose respective girths belie their surprising mobility in the ring—heavyweights who fight like cruiserweights, if you will. Kevin Owens and Main Maxx in a Tables Match is one of our favorites for the card, mainly because we think it would be awesome seeing one man get sent through a table with either Owens' Pop-Up Powerbomb, or Maxx's Blitzkrieg Bomb.

    We're pretty sure these two big boys are going to run through a lot of tables throughout the course of this match, so we're hitting up Blims for the finest tables in the Philippines today.

    Match #4: Seth Rollins vs. Peter Versoza

    There are people who say Seth Rollins' moveset plays like a Create-a-Wrestler in a video game; nearly every move he hits could legitimately be a finisher for any other wrestler. We've heard the same said about Peter Versoza too as owner of the flashiest moveset in PWR today. That's why we have no qualms about banning the Pedigree, which both men use as a finisher, and leave them to scrap for a win using the rest of their diverse repertoires—Phoenix Splash, Avada Kedavra, and Turnbuckle Bomb against the Harlem Hangover, Swanton Bomb, and Karne Norte gutbuster.

    A match with no Pedigrees? Let's get it sponsored by Pedigree. Because there can only be one.

    Match #5: Alberto Del Rio vs. "The Senyorito" Jake De Leon

    In a first ever Hacienda Rules match, we're booking "Mexico's Greatest Export" Alberto Del Rio against the Heir to Hacienda De Leon, "The Senyorito" Jake De Leon, in what should be one of the finest technical matches on the card. What are Hacienda Rules? They work just like Ring of Honor's Code of Honor, with no biting, clawing, groin attacks, choking, grabbing the opponent's tights, or other unsportsmanlike conduct allowed.

    If you're on a hacienda, you need one trusty vehicle to get around, which is why we're getting this match sponsored by Ford, the makers of the #1 pickup in the Philippines.

    Match #6: Kane vs. The Apocalypse

    How much destruction can these two masked marauders cause? We're going to find out as we book Demon Kane against The Apocalypse in PWR's trademark match, the All Out War. We'd love to see how creative both men can get in a match with no rules and no restrictions, with the battle allowed to spill anywhere in the arena using any weapons necessary.

    Man, these two aren't getting up from this match any time soon. We need a sponsor like Mercury Drug to deal with the tons of injuries this match is sure to leave them with.

    Match #7: Brock Lesnar vs. Miguel Rosales

    How stoked would you be to see the Beast Incarnate Brock Lesnar versus the ruthless Miguel Rosales of Fighters 4 Hire in a Battle of Suplex City match? We're betting on bodies being hurled around the ring with impunity, faces getting smashed, necks being wrenched, and a scheduled booking for a serious massage at Bruno's when all this is done.

    There's no better sponsor for a match this high on the balibag factor than Alaxan. Para sa aches at body pains, i-Alaxan mo 'yan!

    Match #8: John Cena vs. Ken Warren

    We want reigning PHX Champion "The Social Media Sinister" Ken Warren to issue an Open Challenge for his prized championship, and who better to answer his call than the very man who made the Open Challenge famous, John Cena? These are two of the most divisive men on their respective rosters, and we're sure to hear alternating chants of "Let's go Cena! Cena sucks!" and "Let's go Warren! Warren Sucks!"

    A match like this would thrive on social media, so we're hitting up Globe to make it #wonderful for everyone with free Wi-Fi throughout the whole arena.

    Match #9: Dean Ambrose vs. John Sebastian

    We wouldn't be able to get NJPW's Shinsuke Nakamura on this card, so we're settling for the one man on the WWE's roster who matches John Sebastian in the cray-cray factor, "The Lunatic Fringe" himself, Dean Ambrose. An Extreme Rules match would be perfect for these two gritty competitors who are absolutely fearless in taking new, extreme measures to win their matches and give zero fucks about their own well-being. This match will tear the house down.

    We don't expect any survivors from this one, guys. We need St. Peter Life Plans & Chapels to step up and sponsor this match.

    Match #10: Randy Orton vs. Ralph Imabayashi

    It's the battle of the cutters! Randy Orton is going to be taking his Internet-famous RKO against the hottest finish in the Philippines, PWR Champion Ralph Imabayashi's Sonic Crusher. And because we like cutters best when they're hit from high places, we're booking this as a Ladder Match just to see who can hit the most spectacular high-rise cutter of the night.

    A quality Ladder Match needs quality ladders, so we're calling on Ace Hardware to make this a thing.

    Match #11: Daniel Bryan vs. "Classical" Bryan Leo

    After all the carnage of the last two matches, we want to give all the wrestling purists out there something to drool over. How does this hit you: Daniel Bryan against the King of the Royal Flush, "Classical" Bryan Leo in a 60-minute Iron Man Match? Both men are incredibly versatile and have a million different ways each to finish off their opponents, so this would be the perfect format for both dudes to prove their ring generalship and resilience to the world.

    Sa ganitong klaseng match na matagalan, the only sponsor that makes sense would be Motolite, pang-matagalan.

    Match #12: Roman Reigns vs. Bombay Suarez

    And finally, to top off the card as the main event, how about a Last Man Standing match between the reigning WWE World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns and "The Heart and Soul of PWR" Bombay Suarez? This is bound to be the most explosive match of the evening; both men are tough as nails with hearts of champions, and a three-count won't be enough to determine a winner. Will PWR's Bitch Killer be able to keep the WWE's Big Dog down for a ten-count knockout? We'd love to find out.

    Let's get Enervon to sponsor this match for us, para more energy, mas happy.


    What do you think of the WrevoMania X card, Henrinites? Is this the kind of event we need to put Philippine wrestling on the map? How would you have booked it better? Drop us a line in the comments section below, and let's keep dreaming big in 2016.


    Disclaimer: All corporate sponsorships are purely fictitious in nature and represent wishful thinking by the author. They would still be awesome though. All photos are from WWE.com and PWR Central.
    • Blogger Comments
    • Facebook Comments
    Item Reviewed: The WWE vs. PWR Supercard We'd Love To See Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Unknown
    Scroll to Top