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    Saturday, August 21, 2021

    The SmackDown BreakDown (8/20/21): RAW Lite

    I can't believe SmackDown tricked me into watching two hours of RAW. 

    Seriously, this week's episode was so bad, I was chanting "CM Punk!" in front of my screen because of how garbage everything was. And mind you, Roman Reigns and John Cena headlined this show, and it still sucked ass. And this was supposed to be the go-home show for a Saturday PPV? The header image of this column says it all. That is legit how they signed off the biggest main event in recent memory: with a fucking rollup. You used to be good at this, SmackDown. What the fuck is this trash?

    How did we go from a tense semi-shoot promo to this? What happened to the personal attacks? What, did they stop avoiding each other backstage? And they gave the main event spot to this? Yes, because apparently, we love to hear John Cena count to three and see Roman Reigns just stand there and take all the verbal abuse like a grounded teenager. John Cena didn't even say anything new, either. He legit just repeated his promo last week, this time with a mock pin. Thanks for the effort, Peacemaker. 


    Who the fuck asked Roman Reigns to raise the goddamn stakes? Did he forget the fact that he already beat John Cena clean in 2017? I was waiting for someone to mention that weeks ago, but it never came up. So you're telling me Roman had the time to remind Cena about his failed relationship with Nikki Bella, but he forgot to rub in his big victory over him four years ago? God, I'm so glad CM Punk came back this week. At least I don't have to end this day on a sour note. Thanks a lot, Tribal Chief.

    And as if that wasn't enough, Roman Reigns raised the stakes against himself like a dumbass. Why are you the one giving stipulations for yourself? You don't have to prove anything to John Cena! You've already beaten him before! Are you telling me this guy had the smarts to gaslight his cousins for weeks but doesn't have what it takes to win a verbal argument against one man? What happened to your carefully crafted sinister swagger, Roman? What happened to the Head of the Table persona I strapped my wagon to?


    Even the decent promos this week didn't do anything for me. Edge kicked off the show with his single spotlight sitdown promo, and it's awesome because, of course, it's Edge. And we all know he's capable of literally burning his opponents; just ask Mick Foley. But then he failed to stick the landing a few segments later by dumping black ink on Seth Rollins. The Brood callback was cool and all, but I'm pretty sure Gangrel didn't spit and shower his opponents with black ink. I know I said they couldn't do anything wrong at this point, but man, it would've been cool if they used blood on this one. 

    And while I'm glad they let Bianca Belair compete in back-to-back matches just to paint her as the fighting champion that she is, it didn't hit that hard since we've seen these matches more than twice now. And where's Sasha Banks? This is the go-home show, and she's nowhere to be seen. Are the rumors of her not being cleared to compete true? I hope she's okay and healthy, but if not, I really hope they don't use this to rush Becky Lynch's return to WWE. Just let Toni Storm get a SummerSlam paycheck or something. Hey, remember Toni Storm? She's a SmackDown Superstar, you know. 

    FINAL BREAKDOWN: Needless to say, I've hated almost everything from this week's RAW Lite. Edge and Seth Rollins saved this show the way RK-Bro is doing for RAW right now, and everything else was garbage. From the repeated matchups to boring promos, this go-home show is not worth watching at all because of how it reeks of RAW. Just go watch CM Punk's return for the fifth time today and watch SummerSlam tomorrow.

    Show Grade: Who Cares?

    BreakDown Thoughts That Can Also Count 1, 2, 3

    • Bro, they even repeated the Natalya and Tamina vs. Shotzi and Nox match and branded it a Championship Contender's Match despite already doing it five weeks ago. It was almost identical down to the finish, but Shotzi got the pin over Natalya this time. So have Shotzi and Nox earned two title matches now? Who the fuck is running this show, and why do they think we're all idiots?
    • Also, can someone tell WWE they can rotate their roster so they can at least produce one fresh matchup no one has ever seen before? I'm pretty sure we didn't need to see Kevin Owens vs. Baron Corbin or any combination of the Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy and Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews again this week. Am I the only one who's already tired of these pairings ? 

    *****

    Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's seasoned veteran and resident SmackDown reviewer. He's a sucker for well-written promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. His potential haunts him.

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    Item Reviewed: The SmackDown BreakDown (8/20/21): RAW Lite Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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