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    Tuesday, January 19, 2021

    The RAW RhetoRick (1/18/21): Ultra Fiendstinct

    You know the show's bad when they're showing a replay of last week's SmackDown episode. Oh well, it's that time of the week again. I'm Ricky Publico, and this is the RAW RhetoRick.

    Right off the bat, I can just tell you the two matches worthy of your attention from this week's episode of RAW. Just check out AJ Styles vs. Ricochet and Shayna Baszler vs. Mandy Rose. The former is a given: you should always check it out when two of the best wrestlers in WWE go at it for whatever reason. The latter? I just enjoyed how it all makes sense storyline-wise. Hell, they earn the shout just for having a coherent and cringe-less storyline. ShayNia are killing it as the dysfunctional heel duo.

    Here, I'll make it easier for you to check these matches out. Enjoy:

    Once you're done catching up on those, don't bother watching the rest. You're fine.

    To be perfectly honest, I'm not even sure what to discuss in this review. I'm just winging it at this point and I can't decide whether it's out of laziness or boredom. Do I talk about how nonsensical the Orton/Fiend feud became? How stupid Randy Orton looks in a lucha mask? How boring Alexa Bliss was as a talk show host? How stupid the Lacey Evans/Ric Flair love affair was? What should I discuss first? Should I talk about all of them in detail? It doesn't feel like it's worth the trouble. 

    I love how they aired an awesome MLK Day video package only to follow it up with Randy Orton with a mask on. I know wrestling is suppose to be a male soap opera, but I never expected it to be this soapy. If you've watched a bunch of Filipino teleseryes like me, it won't be the first time you've seen a character with a burned face cutting a monologue about avenging what happened to their pretty faces. Only instead of plotting a diabolical plan, this masked guy just wants to win a silly Rumble match. 

    I realize how I've raved about The Fiend before, but I really hate how his story is going. The RAW Creative isn't bright enough to handle such a complicated and artistic character like him. They were already doing a terrible job treating him right when he was around (remember Goldberg? Seth Rollins?). It's not surprising that they're not doing him justice in his absence. It's been a messy ride full of unanswered questions and I'm just not interested to stick around and find the answers. 

    The one thing they're doing right is launching Alexa Bliss back at the center of the women's division, but I hate how they've given her the same bullshit power The Fiend has. And am I supposed to interpret it as The Fiend possessing Alexa's body? That's so 1995. Aren't we all done with supernatural bullshitry as a wrestling society? Wrestlers can still have character without relying on magical powers. We can still have great stories without monsters and demons. Just watch SmackDown for fuck's sake!

    So The Fiend is cool and all, but I'm moving on from migraine-inducing storylines involving these types of characters. After all, I'm not watching a horror, fantasy, or sci-fi film. I'm watching wrestling, dammit! And I want wrestling back in my wrestling. I guess I just have to accept the fact that RAW isn't my cup of tea and I should stop expecting them to cater to my wrestling needs. So enjoy your soap opera, I'm just here to see my favorite wrestlers slug it out in between the corny-ass segments. 

    CLOSING RHETORICK: RAW continues to freefall down to Shitville and there seems to be no end in sight. If you love bullshit and convoluted storylines, you'd still hate this week's episode for making you wait two hours to get to the good stuff. Alexa Bliss going OP did look great. But if you're like me, you should be tired of all the unexplained powers by now. God, I wish I was watching SmackDown right now. Good thing I have a huge NXT and Dynamite backlog to keep me sane. 

    Show Grade: F

    RhetoRickal Statements That Are Equally Bad

    • Okay, the Dirt Sheet segment was pretty okay. At least it was timed well and didn't drag unlike the last time they bored everyone with a terrible joke-off. Miz even stuck the landing perfectly with a killer one-liner. Now that I think about it, I actually love this segment.

    • So they don't want Lacey Evans as the female John Cena, which is a lot easier to pull off, and instead they want her to have an affair with an old man? Disgusting. I miss SmackDown-era Lacey Evans. 
    • So Bobby Lashley seemingly stomped Riddle's right foot but Riddle grabbed his left foot? Monday Night RAW, everybody!

    • They really want Cedric Alexander to break away from the Hurt Business, huh? Well, fuck them then. If that's how RAW hates successful tag teams and badass stables that much, who are we to stop them?
    • Jeff Hardy, Elias, and Jaxson Ryker in the same segment? Pass. 


    Header image from WWE.com

    *****

    Ricky Publico (@nyamnyamgarbage) is Smark Henry's resident main roster reviewer...  for better or worse. A known lover of tournaments, he's a sucker for well-executed promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He's anxious about the future, now more than ever. LET HIM IN.

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    Item Reviewed: The RAW RhetoRick (1/18/21): Ultra Fiendstinct Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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