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    Tuesday, September 8, 2020

    #ThemeSongTuesday: Everybody Dies!

    Lance Archer in AEW


    Sorry, I couldn't resist. Welcome back to #ThemeSongTuesday! I had to take a hiatus from this column but now that I'm beginning to get my shit together again, there's no better way to bring this series back than with one of the hottest songs among the current crop of wrestling themes.

    It's timely that Lance Archer is getting a push again in AEW as the next #1 Contender for Jon Moxley's AEW World Championship. Truthfully, I didn't really pay much attention to him during his run as part of Suzuki-gun in NJPW or during his tag team days in Killer Elite Squad alongside Davey Boy Smith Jr. But ever since he debuted in AEW as Jake "The Snake" Roberts's Murderhawk Monster, I've been captivated by his presentation as a character.

    As with every gimmick in wrestling, that starts with at least a decent entrance theme. And Archer's goes way beyond "decent." It's a fucking banger. 

    "Everybody Dies" was produced and recorded by Taylor Shaesgreen, the bassist of The Motorleague, a Canadian rock band. Shaesgreen is no stranger to wrestling themes as he's the same guy who was behind the most recent theme that KES used during their last run in NJPW.

    It's a fun song that has an intro that echoes Chris Jericho's classic WWE theme, "Break the Walls Down," with the 5-4-3-2-1 countdown, but that's where the similarities end. The intensity is right there from the outset, with the drums loudly banging and signaling the arrival of the guy who's about to tear you a new one. You then hear a voice that sounds like Lance Archer's yelling his signature catchphrase as he's interrupted by Shaesgreen's nasal vocals.

    The guitar riffs on this track go pretty hard and actually remind me of mid-2000s Saliva and Hoobastank, so you see the metal and punk influences on this track. There aren't really any breaks in this song, so you don't get taken on swells or peaks and valleys. It's in beast mode 100% of the time, which is what you should be expecting from a badass motherfucker who calls himself The Murderhawk Monster.

    The only gripe I have with the song is how it's essentially a loop, much like the themes CFO$ used to make for WWE Superstars. You can see it in the scarcity of lyrics, which Shaesgreen provides himself on the AEW subreddit:

    Everybody dies 
    And I’m gonna take my time 
    Everybody dies 
    And I’m the man, the one to make you fall in line 

    These killers come to life and 
    Everybody dies

    That's it. That's the song.

    On the plus side, my favorite part of it all is how fun it is to just wait for the hook and yell, "EVERYBODY DIES!!!" Yeah, it's no "Kaze ni nare!" but Rome wasn't built in a day. The fact that Archer himself sings (or mouths) this part himself when he's on-camera in AEW just helps. I mean, I'm not supposed to cheer for this dude, but where's the fun in that? I love the Archer/Roberts pairing and I really dig his presentation as a character.

    It also helps that we're living in the darkest timeline so a song like this is a not-so-subtle reminder that, well, everybody dies.

    Photo from All Elite Wrestling


    Stan Sy (@_StanSy) is the Editor at Large of Smark Henry and is also a radio DJ on Wave 89.1, an events host, a freelance writer, and one of the hosts of The Smark Gilas-Pilipinas Podcast. He also used to be one of the hosts and writers of The Wrestling Gods on FOX. He enjoys watching WWE, AEW, and the occasional New Japan match. 

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    Item Reviewed: #ThemeSongTuesday: Everybody Dies! Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Stan Sy
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