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    Monday, March 2, 2020

    SmackDown RunDown (2/28/20): Walk With the Elderly

    No, it’s not "Walk With Elias." We all know that’s the real meaning of WWE in 2020.

    I hope I don’t need to remind you all about what happened last week. You’d think that in the good year of 2020, we won’t ever get to be in this situation anymore. WWE even admitted to their shortcomings in front of the WWE Universe. It’s not just a press release like some companies release when they screw up. The McMahon family stepped into the ring and promised the moon and the stars just to win hardcore fans back. Here’s the footage if you don’t believe me.  

    But alas, change with the times they did not. Sure, they kept their promise for like the first few weeks by giving us “new faces and fresh matchups.” Fast forward to today, and we have Goldberg as the Universal Champion, Roman Reigns declaring himself the “next” contender like it’s nothing, and Bray Wyatt being buried for the 2584th time. At this point, it’s all on us. It’s on us for trusting them only to have them spit on our faces like we don’t want to be cool. 

    I myself fell to their traps just last week after that awesome Goldberg promo. The old man looked strong and healthy, almost as if he still had a few excellent matches in his tank. Fuck me for being optimistic, amirite? You have to wonder who WWE is catering to at this point. Because after making Bray Wyatt one of the biggest names today, they just went ahead and fed him to an old man. Remember this: The Fiend lost to a suplex. Never forget, people.

    Is WWE catering to the casuals? I guess that’s obvious by now. I’ve been giving the upcoming WrestleMania joke names related to everything pirates, but I should’ve called it CasualMania from the very beginning. The thing is, do casuals even want to see an old man be at the top? Every time I reveal to people that I’m a wrestling fan, they always ask me if John Cena, Batista, The Undertaker, and other wrestlers from the bygone era are still alive. Facepalm.

    Even casuals and normies recognize that these names are already too old to be full-time wrestlers these days. Imagine if they catch wind that Goldberg is headlining CasualMania 2020. Is WWE betting on the fact that these people would spend their hard-earned money to watch a has-been who can’t even do his finisher properly anymore? Is this really worth ruining your current talent who work week after week to become bigger draws someday? I guess it is since they let SaudiMania happen.

    Some may argue that Goldberg is a bigger draw than Bray Wyatt and that old-timers are best for business. The thing is, WWE can always have their cake and eat it too. They want Goldberg at 'Mania? They can literally have him without screwing Bray Wyatt repeatedly. What's stopping them from having Goldberg vs. John Cena at CasualMania? How can The Fiend and everyone else on the roster become big draws themselves if they keep giving part-timers the rub?

    And if you want to attract more eyeballs, isn’t Goldberg vs. John Cena on its own the best route to take? It’s a dream match for casuals and they’re both legends of their respective generations so it checks out. Plus, you don’t have to ruin the momentum of anyone from the current roster, especially someone who the company keeps screwing even if he has successfully reinvented himself after getting his previous promising gimmick squandered by the same company.

    It’s also ironic how they celebrated John Cena, one of WWE’s most successful investments. They did a great job making Cena a household name, even if they overdid it by making him WWE’s untouchable Superman. I doubt someone will ever replace Cena because WWE will never replace him. They will have him wrestle and dominate rookies in his 60s. Everyone in the roster right now is just a benchwarmer for the likes of Cena and it’s so depressing to think about. 

    But whatever. Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg is a story that apparently needed the title so badly that they had to ruin Bray Wyatt’s momentum once again, while the latter’s stuck with John Cena. And as if Cena would ever lose to Bray Wyatt. Remember the last time they faced each other at CasualMania? I don’t even have to watch it to find out who will win. Good luck making anyone relevant again, you senile, out-of-touch wrestling company. 

    SMACKDOWN RUNDOWN: At this point, I really don’t care anymore. I don’t want to stay optimistic all the time and always hope that they’ll eventually do the right thing. CM Punk was right all along: nothing will ever change in the WWE, probably even after Vince McMahon dies. I don’t want to rant every week because they will never listen. I’m tired and I want to enjoy wrestling again. Excuse me while I catch up on my Dynamite backlog.

    Show Grade: Whatever You Want It To Be

    RunDown CutDown

    • It’s embarrassing how they keep pitting Roman Reigns against a controversial figure just to automatically position him as the one fans should cheer. I mean, they could also give him a personality or something, but nah, Superman can’t have weaknesses, right?
    • Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan is stuck with Drew Gulak. Nothing wrong with that by itself, it’s just that D-Bry deserves a lot better than whatever this is. 
    • Great, Sasha Banks is back to once again babysit Bayley. The women’s division is looking good, people. /s
    • I love how The Fiend chokes anyone he comes into contact with but in the presence of John Cena, all he can do is point at the CasualMania sign. I guess he didn’t want to mess up Cena’s movie star face or something. Also, I love how Cena tipped his cap like it's a badass cowboy hat. It's not, but okay I guess.
    • I did enjoy Sami Zayn busting out a couple of Helluva Kicks. It's been ages since we've seen him actually fight. I wonder if he'll pin Braun Strowman and win the Intercontinental Championship at Elimination Chamber for himself.

    Ricky Publico (@TeetotaleRicky) is Smark Henry's resident SmackDown reviewer...  for better or worse. A known lover of wrestling tournaments, he's a sucker for well-executed promos and fast-paced matches. While he enjoys nitpicking shows, he now prefers enjoying wrestling for what it is instead of stressing himself over things he can't control. He just bought an Android phone and he couldn't be more delighted.
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    Item Reviewed: SmackDown RunDown (2/28/20): Walk With the Elderly Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Ricky Jay Publico
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