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    Friday, February 7, 2020

    #FinisherFriday (2/7/20): Time To Get Steenalized

    Welcome to another edition of #FinisherFriday! This is Wreddit_Regal giving you an analysis of a finisher that probably shouldn't be used by anyone ever again.

    Kevin Steen (now known as Kevin Owens) in his days as an independent wrestler was what you would call a guy that gives no fucks about his opponents. His only aim was to deal as much damage as possible to them before getting the pinfall victory. Nobody was safe from him in that era, whether it be friend, foe, or even himself:

    The most dangerous weapon in his arsenal was called the Steenalizer. It sounds very corny, but it legit turns its recipient's brain into mush upon impact:

    Yup, you definitely don't want to be that poor guy.

    Breaking the move into chunks:

    1. Steen starts with the powerbomb position
    2. He grabs the back of the opponent's neck (as in a clinch)
    3. In this position, he falls onto his back and hurls the opponent like a ragdoll

    As controlled as the move seems to look, Steen in reality has no control on how to mitigate the damage to his opponent. This is because of the way the opponent's body is contorted before being flung to the air, as well as the height in which Steen releases his grip on the oppponent's neck. A body bent like that will spin like a boomerang when thrown. From a high position, the recipient's body should land back first, but since Steen releases his hold when he is midway to the canvas, the opponent lands on his head instead. By this time, regular readers of this column all know what happens to the head and neck when it receives direct trauma.

    Knowing this, Steen has made it a point to throw his opponents to the corner, in hopes that the turnbuckle pads would cushion the opponent's fall in one way or another. Of course, it doesn't:

    The opponent has no choice but to pray to his god of choice to avoid getting nasty concussions or a broken neck.

    And there you have it chaps, the Steenalizer analyzed! What other moves would you like to see in future #FinisherFriday articles? Let us know in the comment section below!


    Wreddit_Regal is the resident sports kinesiologist of Reddit's wrestling forum, r/squaredcircle. From the most basic of punches to the most intricate double-team maneuvers, he can explain them within the realm of human anatomy and physics, because when doing absolutely nothing wrestling-related, he also happens to work as an operating room nurse.

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    Item Reviewed: #FinisherFriday (2/7/20): Time To Get Steenalized Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Wreddit_Regal
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