Imagine the great week of wrestling we've had. RAW kicked us off with another NXT invasion, Wednesday night in the U.S. had The O.C. invading NXT in retaliation, and Dynamite had yet another banger of a main event. Each show even had great promos hidden somewhere. RAW had the intense Becky Lynch/Shayna Baszler segment, Finn Bálor planted the seeds8 for a possible Undisputed ERA vs. OG Bullet Club encounter, and Cody Rhodes wowed everyone with a passionate, un-goddamn-deniable promo.
It was up to SmackDown to end the week strong. Did the Blue Brand start building their army for Survivor Series? Did Bray Wyatt finally make his first appearance as Universal Champion? Did they top last week's hot show with an equally exciting main event?
Well, they started the show with King Corbin talking about testicles and dog poop. Riveting, I know. Yep, that's what they went with: a segment meant exclusively to give King Corbin the spotlight. Someone backstage probably thought, "Hey, that Cody Rhodes promo was good! Let's also do that this week. Who do we have here... ah, yes, King Corbin! Of course! I'm so smart. Wrestling is great! Can't wait for wrestling veterans to defend any criticism wrestling nerds have to this." Sorry, my three weeks ago is showing.
That golden showcase of mic skills pretty much killed the Manchester crowd. They literally didn't react to anything up until Shayna Baszler showed up and manhandled Bayley. The difference between these two champions can't be unseen. I'm tired of Bayley's new attitude anyway. Can she do something else other than talk about her new attitude? There's a reason why she's an afterthought in their upcoming triple threat champions' showcase at Survivor Series.
And speaking of the women's division, who died and made Sasha Banks the captain of the Survivor Series team? There's a SmackDown women's team? So there will be a traditional elimination match with three teams? I'm all for chaos and carnage but how exactly will that work? Is it going to be a triple threat tag team match but with 15 people? Wouldn't that result in the teams just beating each other up at ringside since anything goes in any type of triple threat match? This isn't even nitpicking—I'm legit confused.
And why is this Tyson Fury guy still in my wrestling? I just skipped his segment because I honestly don't care but the fact that I had to skip a large chunk of the show pissed me off. Why is WWE heavily investing on guys who can barely wrestle? Are you telling me this Fury dude can dish out a Panama Sunrise that's why everyone's sticking with him? What, is he also a Cain Velasquez with apparent lucha libre skills? Fucking show us then. Don't have actual wrestlers carry him around.
Imagine having a deep roster and these lame-ass personalities are the ones taking the spotlight. And since we're talking about the spotlight, take a look at this blockbuster main event: Roman Reigns vs. King Corbin. Holy shit, you guys. That's even better than Daniel Bryan vs. Adam Cole for the NXT World Championship. Screw those gimmickless freaks, this right here is money. /s
I swear I stopped nitpicking wrestling altogether, but it's like they're making it easier for me to scrutinize them. In case you didn't watch this week's show—and I'm glad you didn't because that meant you have an actual life—let me just tell you what happened. King Corbin defeated Roman Reigns with a distraction from Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode. At least Ziggler hasn't fallen off the radar yet.
And I love how the interesting bits of the show were the ones that were given less airtime. Bray Wyatt's SmackDown debut as the Universal Champion happened so fast, it was almost irrelevant. But hey, he's now gunning for Daniel Bryan and that's honestly the most interesting they could do on SmackDown right now. Love the fact that The Fiend really is the modern-day Undertaker, with all the wacky powers and all.
Before that chokening happened, Bryan was also entertaining the idea of joining Sami Zayn's formidable group of talents. I'm not sure Cesaro is officially part of that fold now, but it's still interesting to see how Sami is slowly building his own army of indie darlings. I wish SmackDown started doing the same thing. Too bad they don't have a Triple H to rally them.
And hey, The New Day won the SmackDown Tag Team Championships! That's basically the best thank you Kofi Kingston will ever get after his fantastic performance as WWE Champion. Also, now we know that NXT UK is counted as part of NXT. It's always nice to see my twin brother WALTER up there, even for just a split second of punching and kicking.
I love how SmackDown really is the new A-show, in which the dullness of RAW also got drafted to SmackDown. This is why I didn't watch RAW for all those years. Now I'm starting to think if I should do the same for SmackDown, the show I once loved.
Oh well, at least there's Full Gear to send us off. Wait, why is there blood. What?! What is happening?!
Show Grade: D
RunDown CutDown
- I'm not lazy or anything—this week's entire show is the joke. Now scram and let me binge Tuca and Bertie in peace.
Photos from WWE.com
*****
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