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    Friday, August 16, 2019

    #FinisherFriday (8/16/19): Pumped-Up Kicks (In Order!)


    Welcome to another edition of #FinisherFriday! This is Wreddit_Regal giving you my own tier list of kick-based finishers used in professional wrestling.

    Strike-based finishers are arguably the easiest to execute. Your back won't hurt by lifting anybody up, your mind won't hurt thinking of a unique way to execute your suplex, and you won't need to have your opponent beaten-up enough before doing the move. You just need your strike to connect, and that's it. It's primarily the reason why some wrestlers prefer doing these moves as finishers, particularly kick-based finishers.

    I will be basing my rankings on three aspects: accuracy, damage, and risk to self, which all equally contribute to the move's efficiency and effectiveness, as well as chances of exposing the performer to potential danger.

    Without further ado, here is my top five list of kick-based finishers:

    5. Aleister Black's "Black Mass"


    Whoever knew that a standing spin kick can knock the daylights out of an opponent? Edson Barboza knew, as well as his unfortunate opponent. No explanations needed, this is badassery at its finest.


    Accuracy: 8/10
    Damage: 8/10
    Risk to self: 4/10 (since he's spinning)



    4. Drew McIntyre's Claymore



    The Scottish Psychopath's return to WWE soil was inevitable. Touring around the world and honing his craft, he has since added many weapons to his arsenal of wrestling moves, one of which is his current finisher, the Claymore. Watching a 260-ish pound lad running the ropes or from the corner, propelling his body in the air, and hitting an unlucky guy's jaw with his right foot is both an awesome and frightening sight to behold.

    Accuracy: 7/10
    Damage: 8/10
    Risk to self: 10/10

    3. Kofi Kingston's Trouble in Paradise


    The current WWE Champion (baybeeeeeee) has turned the spinning roundhouse kick into one of the most iconic finishers of the modern era. The kick easily epitomized Muhammad Ali's "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee" quote, as the move is done in one fluid motion, and rocks the opponent's head like the New Day's entrance theme.

    Accuracy: 8/10
    Damage: 9/10
    Risk to self: 9/10

    2. The Superkick (not just any superkick, but Goldberg's superkick)


    via GIPHY

    Goldberg isn't known for using kicks in his matches, but is definitely well-known for using one to inadvertently ending another wrester's in-ring career. You heard that right⁠—Goldberg once stiffed Bret Hart with a superkick, giving him a concussion (Bret gave himself another concussion earlier in the said match, but the kick was the major contributing factor to his post-concussion syndrome). Just watch the slo-mo and notice how it rocked Bret bad:


    Accuracy: 9/10
    Damage: 10/10
    Risk to self: 0/10
    Risk to Bret: 10/10

    1. Sheamus's Brogue Kick


    Our favorite Irishman's prime years were almost all Brogue Kicks, and we loved every second of it. This easily tops my personal list because the thrusting action of the bicycle kick, and the fact that Sheamus directly faces his opponent automatically ensures maximum accuracy and damage, while totally eliminating the risk involved if it were a flying kick like the Claymore.

    Accuracy: 10/10
    Damage: 10/10
    Risk to self: 0/10


    And that's it chaps, my personal ranking of kick-based finishers! Did I miss any finisher/s, or you want to argue about the rankings? Let me know in the comment section below!

    *****
    Wreddit_Regal is the resident sports kinesiologist of Reddit's wrestling forum, r/squaredcircle. From the most basic of punches to the most intricate double-team maneuvers, he can explain them within the realm of human anatomy and physics, because when doing absolutely nothing wrestling-related, he also happens to work as an operating room nurse.
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    Item Reviewed: #FinisherFriday (8/16/19): Pumped-Up Kicks (In Order!) Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Wreddit_Regal
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