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    Thursday, May 30, 2019

    The Smark Henry RAW Review (5/27/19): All Electric Wrestling, (Super)Brock Party!

    There's nothing like a Brock (Lesnar) Party! Get it? Because Brock Party sounds like "block party" and he's carrying the Money in the Bank briefcase like it's a boombox, so I guess he's the cool kid who brings the tunes to the other kids standing in the middle of the closed off road with plastic glasses of beer in hand half-past midnight? I've been there. It's so cool but at the same time very sad, which is also an appropriate description for Brock Lesnar being Mr. Money in the Bank.

    Speaking of very sad, Baron Corbin is the new #1 contender to Seth Rollins' Universal Championship at Super ShowDown. He defeated obvious losers Braun Strowman and Bobby Lashley, who obviously lost this match because they're scheduled to fight each other at WWE Super ShowDown anyway, and The Miz who is... I'm not quite sure what he's doing now. It's a shame because Miz has been pretty good lately but now he finds himself with seemingly nothing to do. Maybe go after R-Truth for that 24/7 Championship? They were a tag team once, so that could, uhh, be something.

    The match itself was a bit weird, though I enjoyed bits of it because I had a really good day today. Strowman and Lashley brawling at ringside to "eliminate" each other was odd, however, because don't Fatal 4-ways exclude disqualifications or count-outs? Maybe the referee just got bored, went "aw, chuck it," and took those two massive behemoths out of the equation. Baron then pinned Miz with End of Days to end my really good day on a pretty bad note. Sigh. 

    It's clear that both WWE Champion Kofi Kingston and Universal Champion Seth Rollins are not fans of Brock Lesnar being Mr. Money in the Bank. Most fans aren't as well. At least Paul Heyman is a fan, and I guess Brock, too, because he's pretty much doing what he's been doing for the past few years: Just goofing around for those millions and millions of dollars. To show up for work or not to show up for work? Brock doesn't get paid by the F5s. He gets paid by the German suplexes.

    It's a refreshing sight, though, having Brock appear for two consecutive shows and wearing that awesome shirt. His personalized briefcase was also pretty cool. I guess he's really holding onto that for an entire year. Hey, remember this? Dominick probably does. To be honest, I wasn't entirely surprised that Brock "postponed" his cash-in announcement. I doubt there was even a decision made. 

    Brock is a huge troll, and so is Paul Heyman; and they don't actually need to decide this early. The longer they draw this out, the more it'll wear down the two champions, giving Brock a great but unnecessary advantage in taking whichever title he wants. It's not like his resumé doesn't just secure another championship reign for him in the horizon. I just hope they don't drag this schtick out for too long.

    I can't lie. I didn't expect Dolph Ziggler to appear and attack Kofi, though I should've. I guess I was more focused on getting disappointed by Boombox Brock here. Xavier Woods made the save because—NEW DAY!!! Kofi still needing to save Xavier works for him because he's the champion while Woods doesn't really lose anything because UpUpDownDown is such a great YouTube channel. 

    I've always been a huge fan of Corey Graves' mic work, so I was pretty excited for this new "Electric Chair" segment. With its first guest being Sami Zayn, whose mic work is also pretty fantastic, I expected to be thoroughly entertained. Then I realized this was just a glorified Q&A segment with screened questions from the fans. I say "screened questions" because Sami Zayn is reportedly not permitted to go on WWE Super ShowDown because of his Syrian heritage and not a single fan trolled WWE about that fact.

    Sami taking over to chastise the fans for asking him terrible questions was perfect, mostly because, yes, those were really terrible questions. Him namedropping AEW caught me offguard because I really did not expect anything of the sort to happen. I was under the impression they were just going to ignore AEW's existence like they did with TNA when it first started, like what they've been doing with ROH and NJPW, but surprise, surprise! Zayn actually namedropped AEW here. Holy frack. 

    This was really odd and, I believe, too soon, considering Double or Nothing just recently concluded to mostly rave reviews. It wasn't even slightly negative, to be honest, which actually works for AEW as free advertising. What the heck is—Oh, Universal Champion Seth Rollins just came out and trashed the "Electric Chair." Okay then. The succeeding match between Seth and Sami was great as expected, though I was left confused when the match ended and there was no lurking Mr. Money in the Bank anywhere. He really is going to hold on to that briefcase for a year, isn't he? Dear god.

    RAW REVIEW: Let's get the elephant out of the room: AEW's Double or Nothing was pretty freaking fantastic, that AEW may very well be able to challenge WWE's supremacy if it does well in the coming months. How did this week's RAW respond to that? Well, we didn't get a wrestling match until around 40-60 minutes later and the first match of the night? Shane McMahon versus Lance Anoa'i. Nice. I guess we got that totally not scripted Sami Zayn "Electric Chair" boogalo namedrop, right? Despite the great matches in Ricochet versus Cesaro and Seth Rollins versus Sami Zayn, the in-ring segments dominated this week's show too much that I'm giving it a C for "Corbin is ruining my life."  

    Quick Hitters:

    • The Usos' Brock Party, I mean block party was pretty fun. That Team B.A.D. reference with the Naomi/Tamina staredown was, well, bad (you can't see me right now but I'm stressing that that means good by nodding my head while grinning with one eyebrow raised). It's a little offputting that The Revival followed up on their win last week by squashing their beef with The Usos but it was a pretty funny encounter nonetheless. 
    • R-Truth is still being chased by everyone including Drake Maverick for that horrible-looking 24/7 Championship. Of course. Are they just going to use this title to hide the fact that they can't end segments properly? Oof.
    • Shane McMahon continued to play a McMahon while his heavy Drew McIntyre made sure he'd win his match against Roman Reigns' cousin, Lance Anoa'i, by beating him up before the match began. The pair beat down Lance for what I thought was far too long before Roman decided to help his cousin. That made me feel a bit odd.
    • Baron Corbin getting revenge by punching AJ Styles in the face during an interview where Styles revealed he was injured was pretty expected from a heel. Unfortunately, Baron doesn't really need more heel heat. It's a nice way to tie up that loose end, though, and could potentially mean that AJ returns by beating him up and sending him far, far away. A guy can dream.
    • RAW Women's Champion Becky Lynch and Nikki Cross beating WWE Women's Tag Team Champions The IIconics is... weird. I love Becky and Nikki, and this dynamic is pretty interesting, and that Rock Bottom Manhandle Slam was cool, but The IIconics are the tag team champions. This just felt disrespectful to the titles. Also, where was Alexa Bliss during all this? Stuck in a line at Starbucks? Lacey Evans' walking-out-and-then-back-out schtick should've gotten stuck with Bliss.
    • Oh, Ricochet won against Cesaro? Smells like 50-50 booking but this was pretty much the match of the night, so I can't really complain. Fight forever?
    • United States Champion Rey Mysterio was supposed to announce something important regarding the title but that was bumped for next week's show. Why? Because you think of a reason. 
    • Firefly Fun House is still the best part of RAW. Apparently, Bray's new horror movie persona is called The Fiend, which made me pop because I'm also a big Dungeons and Dragons nerd. The dynamic between Bray post-Fiend reveal and Abby the Witch seemed to have shifted, too, with Abigail turning from a bully into begging Bray to let her "rest" because she's so tired. Abigail previously seemed to be controlling Bray but now it appears that the tables have been turned. Ending the segment with Bray doing the crab-walk through a limbo rock thing was pretty sinister.
    Images from WWE


    Jofer Serapio (@ShawarmaJoereviews WWE RAW for Smark Henry. He has been an avid professional wrestling fan since grade school. These reviews are as close to professional wrestling as he can get. AEW was pretty cool. I'm keeping my eyes on them fo sho.
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    Item Reviewed: The Smark Henry RAW Review (5/27/19): All Electric Wrestling, (Super)Brock Party! Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Pepe Serapio
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