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    Friday, July 6, 2018

    #FinisherFriday: The Science of the Stinkface

    Welcome to another iteration of #FinisherFridays, where moves are stripped down to the bone. I'm your resident sports kinesiologist straight from the annals of Reddit, Wreddit_Regal.

    Speaking of annals, this week we will be dealing with a classic: a maneuver so closely ass-ociated with its innovator that it would be hard to imagine the move without the wrestler and vice-versa. That's right; it's Rikishi's Stinkface.

    Conceived through an audience member's suggestion in an ongoing match (fun fact: Big Boss Man was the first wrestler to receive a Stinkface), Rikishi's Stinkface is one of the wrestling world's most-renowned signature moves. It is confirmed that Rikishi occasionally inadvertently farts in his victim's face when performing the maneuver, hence the need for a "pre-match ritual" of farting in the bathroom stalls. Just ask the verified list of people who have received a fart-laden Stinkface: Road Dogg, Trish Stratus, Booker T, Torrie Wilson, Eddie Guerrero, William Regal, Stephanie McMahon, Lance Storm, Eric Bischoff, Teddy Long, and even Vince McMahon himself. Rumor also has it that the Stinkface serves as a way of keeping wrestler's egos at bay by the "Wrestler's Court."

    Randomly browsing the Internet, there was a certain website that listed the Stinkface as one of their top 10 least convincing finishers. But having examined the move in detail, I will have to disagree with their conjecture.

    The Science of the Stinkface

    To elaborate, the Stinkface's main objectives are: restricting the recipient's ability to breathe through the nose/mouth, and inhibiting the diaphragm from expanding and contracting.

    First, as Rikishi's gigantic arse moves towards the unfortunate wrestler's face, the entirety of his gluteus covers the recipient's nose and mouth, rendering him/her unable to breathe. The recipient's squirming and screaming may be comedic, but we cannot fully comprehend the sheer agony of gasping for clean air until we ourselves are subjected to it.

    Second, as Rikishi is continuously mashing his bum, the majority of his weight is also transferrred to the recipient's upper chest and diaphragm, which makes it even harder to breathe. Only a minute of this crushing weight and you'll faint. Very probable side effects of the upper body being subjected to such mass are broken ribs and a fractured sternum.

    Also, while we're at it, I would like to answer the question lurking inside your heads: Yes, the smell does contribute to the overall damage dealt by the move. The concept employed is sensory overload, wherein the human body cannot deal with over-stimulation—in this case, the perceived stench of Rikishi's behind. But for this to be applicable in every situation, we must also assume that Rikishi doesn't employ proper gluteal hygiene before his matches. I don't have enough proof for this, so I will leave this part for speculation.

    In summary, wrestlers with subpar lung capacity and upper-body strength will suffer the most because of the move's mechanics, while well-built wrestlers will have so much more of a chance of surviving the dreaded Stinkface.


    What did you think of this week's #FinisherFriday, mga ka-smarkada? Are you sold on the devastating firepower of the world-famous Stinkface? If not, let us know, so we can arrange a personal demo from the crew here at the Smark Henry Offices.


    Wreddit_Regal is the resident sports kinesiologist of Reddit's wrestling forum, r/squaredcircle. From the most basic of punches to the most intricate double-team maneuvers, he can explain them within the realm of human anatomy and physics, because when doing absolutely nothing wrestling-related, he also happens to work as an operating room nurse.
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    Item Reviewed: #FinisherFriday: The Science of the Stinkface Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Smark Henry
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