Before we get into this article, how about I introduce myself first? It’s
The Migz here, part of the new
talent influx at the Smark Henry offices, your new awesome-sauce contributor,
lifelong wrestling fan and your local *cue Breezango music* fashion police.
What I’m about to bring today is your dosage of #SGQ wherein we tackle the
visual aspects and fashion choices of the wrestling kingdom.
Now moving forward, if you watched this week’s episode of SmackDown Live,
you might have seen the return of none other than the devil's favorite demon, Kane. Watching this episode made me realize how much I missed the big guy. From
his initial sleeve-wearing days, to his most recent fashion choices *cough*
wigged mask *cough*, Kane has seen a lot of changes visually, and through this
article, how about we go down memory lane and look back at some of
the best (and worst) attires he had?
For references of this article, I’ll be naming the looks but I’m sure
you’ll understand what I mean when I mention them. Also, I won’t be mentioning
one-offs, minor design changes, small color switches and that darn awful Luke
Gallows Kane.
Sleeved Kane aka Debut Kane
Ahhh, the original Kane from October 1997’s In Your House: Badd
Blood. This is probably my favorite one since it evokes feelings of fear from
my childhood. The reds with touches of black. The full mask. The single glove.
That pipe organ music. I feel that they got the right mix of elements for Kane
with this set. You had that feeling of dread and despair from seeing this Kane
and hellfire and brimstone were indeed present on this green earth. Paul Bearer
is a plus factor to this Kane making the character feel more sinister.
Tanktop Kane aka The See-Through Kane
I don’t see why WWE had the idea of exposing Kane’s parts with his
see-through tanktops. Was it supposed to illustrate that Kane had nipples? Was
the sleeved attire too hot? You came from hellfire and brimstone, man! This
made him look like some dominatrix who likes to do unmentionable
things (and not in a scary monster way). I feel the tank tops were already
silly and the sheer parts made it even sillier. He mostly wore this during his run with
The Undertaker as the Brothers of Destruction. I hated this. So. Much. I
absolutely have nothing more to say. Next!
Open Masked Kane, aka Slow Chemical Kane
In my opinion, This was the most humanized version of Kane, which made
the character counter-productive. (You’re supposed to be a monster!) Talking. Tag-Teaming. Spin-a-roonying. You get the point. The only
good thing to have come from this is that rockin’ entrance theme "Slow Chemical" by Finger Eleven (Which I still hope they bring back). Sporting a half-mask with that darn awful tanktop, I feel they broke Kane with this one. As I said previously, the
tanktop is NOT menacing, people. The mask variations were kind of awesome though.
Unmasked Kane, aka Psycho Kane
Just look at this picture and tell me what you think, will you? Disregarding
the initial unmasked run where he tried to sport fake burn marks and the
unkempt balding curly hair, I feel this Kane gave the most in-depth look at
Kane character-wise and refreshed any down time he might have had. His
barbed-wire and/or stitches-inspired tights and his psychotic look brought an
unpredictability to him. Bonus points for the contact lenses. Is he crazy? Is
he still a demon? Is he mad? The only thing you’re ever sure of with Unmasked
Kane is that he’s going to hurt you. I’m just glad he doesn’t go nuts during
May 19th anymore. Note that this run also produced his best world championship
run in his career by far.
Corporate Kane, aka Slacks Kane
Corporate Kane was basically unmasked Kane in a suit. He had worn his
hair short (and a weird growth shape at that), so it was sort of hard to take
this one seriously. He was somewhat a comedy character at this point often
being involved with J&J Security and Seth Rollins. His slacks and the elbow
pads made me feel he was a sort-of throwaway character in a WWE game.Very
generic-looking and not menacing. Again, what is up with his hair?
Team Hell No Kane, aka Rosary Kane
I’m merging this one with Welder Mask-wearing Kane since they had
minor variations visually. This also refers to most recent Kane. He’s been
wearing this ever since, switching between this one and Corporate Kane during
the past few years. I know I said I hated the tanktop attires, but I’ve come to
accept the fact that Glenn Jacobs, the man that portrays Kane, has put on some
weight due to his age and the tops protect his look a little (yes, only a
little). At least, this one is a sleeveless top rather than a sando. On a side
note, why does his attire look like a onesie?
Bonus Content:
Wedding Kane
I know I promised no one-offs, but hey, what the hell?
And that concludes our trip to memory lane. Which
one’s your favorite Kane attire? Did I miss any of the attires? What did you
guys think? Let us know in the comments section below!
Photos from WWE
