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    Friday, July 13, 2018

    #FinisherFriday: Shut Up, Byron!


    "Shut up Byron!"

    Welcome to another edition of #FinisherFriday, chaps. This is Wreddit_Regal, explaining this week's featured move, the Saxtonation.

    Many people know Byron Saxton was a former wrestler before donning the headphones as a color commentator. FCW, ECW, NXT—he has wrestled in them all. Today, he is famous for being Corey Graves' favorite guy to roast and humiliate in commentary, because really, Byron has one notable skeleton in his closet.

    His finisher, the Saxtonation, has gained the notoriety of being one of the worst finishers to ever grace the sacred canvas of the squared circle. The Internet Wrestling Community has jeered this move to their heart's content, the humor never subsiding with each repost. Searching YouTube, I found out that there are only two documented videos of the Saxtonation: one performed decently, and the other which became the butt of all jokes.

    With this in mind, I embarked on a personal quest to determine if the Saxtonation really has potential to be an effective finisher.

    Dissecting the Saxtonation

    Simply put, this odd sequence of moves' main purpose is to constantly confuse the opponent and deliver the slam at the most vulnerable point. Let me break down the Saxtonation into these small chunks:

    1. First comes the setup for the full nelson facebuster; think of The Miz's Skull Crushing Finale. Saxton steps his left leg forward to aid in the front swing.
    2. Realizing the imminent impact with the canvas, the recipient instinctively puts both of his arms forward to lessen the impact. The recipient might perhaps even be thinking, "Miz does it better than you sucker."
    3. But as soon as the recipient puts his arms forward to block the forward impact, Saxton does the unthinkable: he releases his right arm, turning it into a half-nelson hold, then spins 180 degrees in the opposite direction, thereby transitioning the half-nelson into a standing armdrag hold.
    4. In this position, he now proceeds to drag the opponent's body backwards by dropping down onto his posterior—now think of Matt Hardy's "Side Effect," but his arm does not extend over the upper chest—in order to propel the opponent's nape to the ground.

    You might think, "That's it?" Yes, that's all there is to it, but three important things come into play.

    First, since Saxton stops the forward motion at about 45 degrees forward and then proceeded to slam the opponent backward, this would constitute a body slam angled at 135 degrees, roughly similar to Baron Corbin's End of Days. In contrast, EVIL's high-impact eponymous finisher has an angle of just 90 to 100 degrees.

    Next, since the recipient has already instinctively put both of his arms forward in the original direction of the move, there would be no cushioning to the inverse direction his body is propelling to, resulting in a full-impact finisher and a sure-fire 1-2-3.

    And finally, a blow to the cervical area—C5-C6 in this case—can (a) irritate the spinal cord and cause either temporary paralysis of the entire body from the point of impact below, and (b) stop the diaphragm from working, thus having the proverbial wind knocked out of you. Also, since the head is involved in the impact, it can cause jarring of the brain, which is the main cause of most cerebral concussions.

    To be honest, I haven't absolutely considered the Saxtonation a sure-kill finisher primarily because he has only used it against low- and mid-tier wrestlers. But as ridiculous as the mechanics may sound, the element of confusion and surprise implemented in this unusual move can turn the tables in a match where predictability is the norm. If you have watched videos of unorthodox fighters on YouTube, or have read about Masaru Aoki in manga, then you will get what I am trying to convey to you, chap.


    And there you have it folks, Saxtonation stripped down to its core. Do you think that Byron and his Saxtonation could thrive in the current WWE roster, or in any wrestling promotion? Let us know in the comment section below!


    Wreddit_Regal is the resident sports kinesiologist of Reddit's wrestling forum, r/squaredcircle. From the most basic of punches to the most intricate double-team maneuvers, he can explain them within the realm of human anatomy and physics, because when doing absolutely nothing wrestling-related, he also happens to work as an operating room nurse.
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    Item Reviewed: #FinisherFriday: Shut Up, Byron! Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Smark Henry
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