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    Tuesday, September 19, 2017

    #ThemeSongTuesday: REEEMIX!

    Howdy ho! It's your boy Stan back from the latest legs of the #StanSyWorldTour. I haven't really had time over the last two weeks to crank these columns out, but I do assure you that I'm back and that I won't be leaving for my next leg until after this year is over. I'd love to wax poetic about my adventures in Seoul and Taipei, but that's what my Instagram is for. Right now, we have to talk about these remixes.

    First on our list is the updated theme song of one Seth Rollins.

    The only thing that really changed here is the "BURN IT DOOOWN!" hook that plays right before the drop. 

    Honestly, I'm quite surprised that this was all we got, especially after an updated version of Rollins' theme with vocals done by Downstait leaked sometime earlier this year. Unlike most of CFO$' compositions, "Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim" is actually a complete song. Yes, it even has a bridge.

    As for the version of "The Second Coming" that Rollins currently comes out to, it's really just the same song with a hook added to it. Sure, it sounds like something that would be fun to scream if I were to watch a WWE live event with Seth on the card. But at this point, a full song with lyrics—even this parody—is an upgrade over the Kingslayer's theme song. 

    Let's switch gears and talk about the Usos and their little penitentiary:

    When the Usos first turned heel and came out to the instrumental demo of this theme, our editor-in-chief Ro Moran noted that it sounded like a song just waiting for a Desiigner verse on it. I couldn't help but agree. It was the type of beat that really exuded some gangsta-level badassery. That's why I was thrilled when the remix came and it was the Usos themselves who rapped over their own theme.

    Lyrically, this song isn't perfect. Hell, it's essentially a rundown of the Usos' catchphrases, with them grunting, barking, and pulling a Lil' Jon in between. It's a good thing that Jimmy and Jey make up for it by sounding like a convincing pair of MFers who can turn you into their bitch anytime they want.

    I still love how the keyboard loop gives you the vibe of foreboding danger. It sounds so serious and sinister, without being too rowdy—an element which the Usos' vocals already bring on their own. Overall, the song does its job without trying hard to be something it's not. Much like the Usos have embraced their gimmicks as SmackDown Live's resident gangsters who don't give a fuck, the song has also come into its own by embracing the vibe of the Usos' characters. It's a perfect fit.

    Rounding out this week's column is the complete version of Jason Jordan's entrance theme:

    First things first—no, I'm not about to rap "Fancy"—having vocals on JJ's theme definitely completed it. While there are certain songs that can stand on their own without vocals—"The Rising Sun" comes to mind—the demo version of Jordan's theme really felt like it was missing something. The synth trumpets felt so half-assed, like majority of CFO$' songs as of late. It didn't help that the demo sounded like the love child of "Medal" and "Cruise Control." Come on, CFO$, would it really kill you to use actual instruments instead of the synth bullshit?

    Let's talk about the vocals, which were done by Brooklyn rapper J-Frost. You may remember him from the Street Profits' theme song, which we previously featured. I really don't get CFO$' fascination with white rappers. I've previously talked about how I wish they just went with a black rapper for the themes of Kassius Ohno and the Street Profits. I don't hate white rappers—hell, Eminem is my favorite of all-time—but having a black rapper do the verses will give the song an edge or a dating, if you will, that guys like Cody B. Ware and J-Frost just don't bring to the table.

    The lyrics aren't anything special either. J-Frost's verses sound so basic that they really don't stand out. Give me Vintage John Cena and The Trademarc over this jabroni any day of the week. The way he raps also sounds so monotonous that it doesn't have any swagger at all, which really does Jason Jordan a disservice, considering his character isn't getting over as a babyface because JJ seems so bland on his own right now.

    Whereas Jordan makes up for his vanilla character with the bursts of athleticism he displays in the ring, "Next Generation of Great" makes up for its flaws through its hook, which is admittedly fun to rap along to. The song also gets brownie points for actually having a second verse. Now if CFO$ can actually learn to write a bridge and complete a fucking song.

    What do you think of these updates to the themes of Seth Rollins, The Usos, and Jason Jordan? Which among them is your favorite? Hit us up in the comments section below!

    Photo from WWE


    Stan Sy (@_StanSyis the Editor at Large of Smark Henry, and is also a radio broadcaster, events host, a freelance writer, and one of the hosts of the Smark Gilas-Pilipinas Podcast. He also used to be one of the hosts and writers of The Wrestling Gods on FOX. He enjoys watching WWE, NXT, Lucha Underground, and the occasional New Japan match. You can also catch him every month attempting to keep order in a fancy suit as PWR's General Manager.
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    Item Reviewed: #ThemeSongTuesday: REEEMIX! Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Stan Sy
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