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    Thursday, September 21, 2017

    The Smark Henry RAW Report (9/19/17): WANTED: Part-Timers

    ...And I’m back! I had our Editor-In-Chief Romeo Moran write last week’s report because my laptop charger broke down on me with no mercy (heh!) right when I needed it most. Extra apologies this is a little late, too—I had to take care of some stuff at the hospital yesterday. Health before anything else, people!

    Alright, this week was the go-home show for No Mercy, and was RAW’s last chance to give this next pay-per-view some hype. With the rate the show’s been going in the last couple of weeks, I completely forgot that No Mercy was next Monday (Manila time). I was hoping to see some brawls, especially between the main eventers for a sneak peek on what’s to come.

    First of all, I don’t understand how everyone says Roman Reigns had the last laugh here, after apparently delivering one of the strongest promos of his career. I hope you all realize that it literally took John Cena’s absence before Reigns could “win” this round. Congratulations! So strong indeed.

    On that note, I guess Reigns did make a good point here—it was pretty disappointing that Cena wasn’t there to hype the up the feud just one last time before No Mercy. For weeks, they’ve been going back and forth, destroying each other verbally—well, okay, it’s really just Cena doing the destroying—without ever even touching each other. I was hoping they’d finally have enough of it and just beat each other up to tease us. I guess not.

    Switching gears, Bayley suddenly appeared and helped take down Nia Jax and beat up the RAW Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss. She suffered a dislocated shoulder before SummerSlam and now seems to have recovered completely. She was out there with the bestie, Sasha Banks, and the bitchie, Alexa Bliss, but there was no sign of Emma... I found that so strange because it’s supposedly the go-home show, and if you wanted to hype the Fatal 4-Way happening at No Mercy, you ought to have all four girls in the ring. Otherwise, it feels kulang. Four girls were in the ring alright, but one was replaced. Uhm… Okay, initial thought: what the hell? Bayley’s not part of the freaking match, guys! It’s not going to kill her to wait until after the pay-per-view to have her make her surprise return. She could challenge whoever walks out of No Mercy as champion, and we could just go from there.

    So then they announce the Fatal 5-way. Bayley’s now randomly added to it, last-minute, just because. Might as well add the rest of the women on the RAW roster if they were just going to insert 90% of them in a match anyway. If only someone could just invest 10 more minutes into coming up with an interesting storyline for the girls—Hell, I’ll do the job for them, and they don’t even have to pay me. Unless they insist. Okay, give me the pay.

    Finally, we’re getting the Jason Jordan storyline we’ve all been waiting for two whole months now. The important illegitimate child announcement happened months ago, WWE—it’s about time we get intense segments and angles (no pun intended… maybe) between father and son. He earns his shot at the Intercontinental Championship against The Miz at No Mercy and the crowd still doesn’t give a shit. That was the main event of this episode, along with a lot of the idle Superstars like Elias, the Miztourage and the Hardy Boyz. (Man, I wish they hadn’t drop the ball with the Jeff Hardy solo run…) The backstage segment between The Miz and his Miztourage was really interesting as well, as it perfectly showed us how much of a self-centered heel Miz is, as if we didn’t already know. I hope to see them turn on Miz one day.

    Back to Jordan, however—I almost feel really bad that barely anybody can really get behind him. Perhaps more storylines with Kurt Angle? Or some acting classes, maybe...

    It’s a different name, but the exact same result for Goldust, who wanted to be addressed as Dustin Rhodes, asking Kurt Angle to go out there without the gold and black facepaint. He felt like he had something to prove to Bray Wyatt, who basically implied that without the paint, without the gimmicks, he is nothing. Awwwww shit, things are about to get more serious for Goldie and maybe he could actually score a victory against Bray Wyatt this time.

    Boy, was I wrong, but I understand how this was helpful to the story. Balor then explains how Man created the Demon, as he learned how to control his rage by manifesting it into something like the gods and monsters from the books his younger self used to read. He then goes and f*cks with everyone’s mind even further with the question, “If the Demon is a creation of the man, which one is more dangerous?” Well.

    I am a little disappointed regardless because what could’ve been a really interesting storyline for Goldust, perhaps even for his eventual exit, was just quickly used for a storyline that doesn’t even include him and won’t include him. Sayang.

    As usual, Paul Heyman knocks the exclusive interview out of the park with his client Brock Lesnar and had a good exchange with Braun Strowman. But isn’t this overdue? The way I see it, exclusive interviews and exchange of threats like such have no real place at a go-home show unless it ends up with some kind of physical altercation. Words should come before it, as it serves as a provocation. Cena and Reigns couldn’t do anything, and now Lesnar and Strowman didn’t get to do anything either. Boo!

    So… That was it? That was the go-home show we got? This episode of RAW felt lacking and it didn’t feel special enough without John Cena and Brock Lesnar, No Mercy’s biggest draws, and the part-timers issue is so real. The only way they can turn things around now is by delivering on the pay-per-view itself. We can only pray at this point. This episode gets a C-!

    Quick Hitters:
    • The tag team match between Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro and Sheamus vs. The Club was really fun to watch, and it didn’t take anything away from either teams. Match of the night for sure!
    • In case you didn’t get the memo yet, it’s Everybody-Shit-On-Enzo-Amore month. That was funniest moment of the night.
    • So, like, is Curt Hawkins’ 115-match losing streak impressive or what?

    Photos by WWE
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    Item Reviewed: The Smark Henry RAW Report (9/19/17): WANTED: Part-Timers Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Unknown
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