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    Monday, December 28, 2015

    #SGQ (12/28/15): Alberto Del Rio & The Stretchy Pants Revolution

    Once upon a time, a very wise and famous man shared one of the most massive and meaningful insights known to mankind.

    Now we don't know whether reigning WWE United States Champion Alberto Del Rio is fan of Nacho Libre, or if he actually thinks wearing stretchy pants is fun and manly, but he debuted a brand-new look at the WWE's holiday stop at Hartford, Connecticut.

    Thanks to this, we now know what Mexico's second-greatest export is, and it's apparently spandex.

    We thought at first glance Del Rio had misplaced his usual short trunks and was loaning a pair from Fandango or Heath Slater, but on closer look, these are clearly a bespoke job, with the eagle wings on the hips and overall print clearly mirroring those found on his more familiar gear.

    We're not 100% sure what's going on with the pattern on the tights themselves. It could either be some sort of chain mail pattern, an eagle feather texture, or ridged metal. But it looks pretty swank and gives ADR a damn fine swashbuckling look.

    With this new look, Del Rio looks to be joining Dolph Ziggler as a convert to the stretchy pants aesthetic.

    We'll miss Ziggler's thighs... #PAUSE

    Constant reinvention is a big thing when you're mired in the midcard, as the Show-Off explained in an interview.
    I was like 'oh, I'm finally getting to wear some gear that I like, 80s rockeresque Motley Crue kind of stuff' and I was like 'this is kind of cool.' All those guys, Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil, they all have the black cool pants. I go 'let me try a pair of pants, see if I like them.' It was a special thing for SummerSlam. They arrived a day late. I wore 'em on that... it's a special Raw now. So I'm like 'this could work.' So I'm in the mix of getting another pair made. We'll see. Raw exclusive pants only for now and if it works out at the next pay-per-view and the pants work out maybe we'll stick to 'em. We'll see. It's all about... like, the Undertaker wasn't just this guy who stood there like this. He became this biker, he became all these things. If I don't have that time to develop my character, let me just slowly become the guy who wears the stuff that he wants to wear.

    This new look clearly establishes a separate era for today's Del Rio versus the 2010-2014 edition who shot to fame under his "Mexican Aristocrat" gimmick. We kind of like it, just like we did when Kofi Kingston shifted over to long tights a couple of years back.

    Clearly very stretchy.
    Wrestling historians though might find Del Rio's move to long tights strange for a main event talent; generally speaking, when midcard wrestlers want to be taken more seriously as a top-shelf contender, they switch over to trunks. Triple H, for example, closed the book on his midcard Intercontinental Championship-chasing days in D-Generation X by donning trunks to become Vince McMahon's corporate champion.

    Because long tights are so midcard.
    And while Chris Jericho may have become the first ever Undisputed Champion in history wearing long tights, he was booked horribly, and it wasn't until he switched over to trunks that he finally washed off his midcard stank and found his true footing as an elite heel.

    Trunks would have made this Sharpshooter approximately 33 1/3% more painful. #BecauseFriction
    And let's not forget The Miz, who ditched his atrocious fratboy 3/4 pants to reinvent himself as a WrestleMania main eventer.

    Because nobody main events WrestleMania dressed like that.
    Of course, long-time fans will gladly point out that shifting to long tights was a key part of the reinvention of such wrestling legends as Hulk Hogan and "Macho Man" Randy Savage. And in today's Under Armour-dominated world of athletic gear, one can't ignore the compression-related benefits of long tights in keeping one's body in top condition. But even the older generation of wrestling journalists will attest that trunks make a wrestler look more polished, professional, and legitimate. 

    So will Alberto Del Rio's switch to stretchy pants instead of his traditional trunks doom him to wrestling midcard hell, or will he climb to even greater heights in 2016? Think that he needs to ditch the look and go back to his Mexican Aristocrat look? Leave us your thoughts below, Henrinites!

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    Item Reviewed: #SGQ (12/28/15): Alberto Del Rio & The Stretchy Pants Revolution Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Unknown
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